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Continuing to take control

08 Sunday May 2011

Posted by Sameer More in Uncategorized

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After the first post on taking control, the “sequel” has taken its own sweet time coming. This is simply because I did not want to scribble something just for the sake of it. Though I am mostly a “prototype-first-then-develop” kind of a programmer, I am rather finicky when it comes to writing. If I don’t get a “now that’s something” feeling about it, it doesn’t get published.

In part one, I talked about how our control key does not work on other people’s systems. Now the simple question that follows next is – what if we ย really need to make something happen, and making that happen involves controlling someone else’s actions/perceptions? Does this mean that what we want will never come through? That we will not see what we want to see happening? Not really – it only means that you won’t be the only person making it possible.

Let me make this more clear. Normally, we tend to think of ourselves as “super-performers” in our own mind. We believe we are capable of doing 10000 times more than what we have already achieved. Nothing wrong with thinking so, except that we frequently cross the (not so) thin line between “I decide what I do” and “I want to decide what others do”. Obviously, that is not possible every time. And when things don’t go the way we want, frustration tends to creep in, to stay.ย Though I have used an “another person” as an example, the same principle applies to situations as well. So rather than fuss about why/how things are not going our way, isn’t it better to just pause, take a deep breath, and say to yourself – “OK, so I am in a fine mess. So what? Let me just try and see if I can find some way out.”?

So how exactly do we do it? The simple answer is – there is no simple answer. If it was really so simple and obvious, the world would be utopia, which it isn’t. But there is still a way out, and I will try and present my take on it. Your experiences will have something else to say to you, which is perfectly alright, as long as the basics stay in place. I apply the CAD funda when it comes to life. CAD stands for:

  • Change what you can change
  • Accept what you can’t change
  • Decide what you can change and what you can’t

Now you might say – if we are just accepting what we can’t change, are we really “taking control”? Or are we just surrendering to the situation? Whenever you tend to think so, pause. This is the “I-want-to-control-everything” part of you talking. Take it easy, remind yourself that you are not God (or Rajnikanth) and move on.

Funnily, though I call it the CAD funda, it is best applied in exactly the reverse order, DAC. First, decide what you can (or can’t) change, then accept that you just can’t change some things. Once you have done that, you will find yourself at peace with yourself, all geared up to go ahead and actually change those things which you are capable of changing for the better. This is simply because now your mind is free of the unnecessary burden of negativity, and will most likely perform to potential.

After two posts, I feel that there is still a lot more I can talk on this subject. But that will have to wait for a third post, which won’t take much time coming. It’s already in there, I just need to pour it out. Till then, keep pressing that control key. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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Taking control

04 Monday Apr 2011

Posted by Sameer More in Uncategorized

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A fresh post after a relatively long time…this one has its roots in a rather funnyย occurrenceย from yesterday. I was working on my laptop and copied some text from one document to be pasted into another. And for a full 2 seconds, I was searching like crazy for the Control key, which happened to be right under my fingers. It was almost as if it had suddenly worn an invisibility cloak… ๐Ÿ˜€ After I “found” it, I couldn’t help laughing about how silly I was not to see something which was right there in front of me.

And then it struck me – isn’t that exactly what happens to us many a times in our daily life? We simply don’t see what we can control, and instead keep killing ourselves over things which we can’t. We can go on and on and analyse a lot about what we can control and what we can’t, but I feel very strongly that it can be summed up in one simple sentence. People who know me well enough will immediately know what I am about to say – We can never really control someone else’s actions, we can only control our own reactions.

This might sound a bit escapist to some, because we so much want to be in control of our own (and sometimes, someone else’s) lives. But come to think of it, isn’t that really true? Most of what takes place in our life is dictated not by what happens to us, but by how we react to it, not by what life drops in our lap, but by what we make out of it.

We may not be able to control whether people give us the respect that we (think we) deserve, but we can surely keep doing our best and see that respect coming our way one day. We can’t undo an unfavourable exam result, but we can definitely do better next time. Whether or not someone wants to be a part of our life, is not something we can force, but we can stills live another day and have a smile on our lips. ๐Ÿ™‚

All it really takes is one simple thing – accept that your control key does not work on other people’s systems, it only works on your own. Make the best use of it, and you will be good. Of course, there will be times when you will be left searching for the key, and you might even feel that nothing’s working. But I say this from experience, it works, and works beautifully. You just need to believe that it does. ๐Ÿ™‚

This one has been a short post, because there is a sequel coming up, which will take this very thought forward. If I pour out everything in one single post, you guys are most likely to use Ctrl+F4. ๐Ÿ˜‰ So I will call it a day here…adios!! See ya soon.

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Why “Why me?”??

06 Sunday Feb 2011

Posted by Sameer More in Uncategorized

≈ 5 Comments

“Easy to say,Sam…difficult to implement”..went my friend. He was talking about my latest Facebook status –

Sometimes I smile because of whats happening in my life.
Sometimes I smileย inspiteย of whats happening in my life..but I smile always!! ๐Ÿ™‚

I smiled (please excuse me if this sounds too corny) and said…”Is it so?”. “Of course…there are going to be times when you are going to go ‘Why me?’. Smiling is not what comes to your mind then” came the reply. ย That set off my thinking wheels – really, isn’t that the first thought that comes to our mind when something unpleasant happens? Why me? And thats what brought me back to the keyboard after a long time.

To begin with, let me say that I am not immune to the “why me” virus. There have been (many) times when I have felt like saying it..and have said it, as well. But over time, I have come to realise something much more important. We say “why me” ONLY when things do not go our way…when things are rolling in our favour, we are happy to sit pretty and think of it as our god-given right. I have never heard anyone saying that when they topped the class or won a lottery. ๐Ÿ˜€

Speaking for myself…I think that “why me” is just another way of saying “why not someone else?”, Why would you want something to happen to someone else that you would not want to happen to yourself? Also, looking back, I have had far too many occasions in my life when I could have said “why me”, but decided not to…and that made a whole world of difference.

When I was born, I was a premature baby, severely underweight, and the doctors were not too optimistic about my survival. But I did survive and am doing quite well I guess. I did not say “why me” (though technically I couldn’t have said it at that point of time :D). While growing up, I faced ridicule from some of my classmates over my looks. I used to come home and cry at times…I did think “why me” at times, but gradually I realised the only way to hit back was the way I knew best – by topping the class. When I did that and saw the look of surprise on their faces, that was obviously not a “why me” moment.

When I flunked my first year in Engineering and had to sit one whole year at home (a lot many people who know me today still find it very difficult to believe this ;)), I did not spend my time brooding “why me”, because I knew exactly why I had landed in that position. I used the hurt and shame to ensure that I never take my responsibilities casually, and the failure always reminded me of what could happen if I started taking things too easy. Only genius can afford to be complacent perhaps, and I was certainly no genius. Period.

Even today, there are still times when I faintly feel like saying those 2 words, and I stop myself from saying that. I have been “turned down” (if you get the drift) 3 times, but I remain eternally hopeful that things are going to turn out great the fourth time. Its been my long term dream to have a house of my own, but the realty scene in Mumbai keeps taking my dream a bit out of my reach…but I am damn confident that one day, I am going to post an entry on this very blog sitting in my own home. “Why me” is certainly not something I am going to be saying that day. ๐Ÿ™‚

Sometimes I feel that being a premature baby has helped me to a large extent – the areas in my brain responsible for pessimism have remained under-developed. ๐Ÿ˜› Of course, there will be people who will say that the entire brain has remained under-developed, but thats a story for another day. For now, I will call it a day at this point.

Like most other posts of mine, whats written here comes mostly from personal experience and observation, so you might have an entirely different take. I would love to listen to that,too. So feel free to comment. ๐Ÿ™‚

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A fresh start…

09 Sunday Jan 2011

Posted by Sameer More in Uncategorized

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fresh start, musings, shayari

OK..so here I am…and here is a (still) new year. What has not changed, however, is the frequency of my posts here. ๐Ÿ˜‰
But this year, things will surely be different.

Starting off with some couplets which I have previously written, but did not get down to posting. Hopefully, finally seeing them out in the world should fan the spark for some more…

Kuch baadal sawaalon ke, kuch boondein khwaabon ki,
Main raah dekhta hoon, aankhen moond khwaabon ki,
Kuch teri muskaan ka asar hai, kuch teri aankhon ka,
Ab kami nahi khalti, gulistaan mein gulaabon ki…


Tumse milke humne jaana,
Dard bhi hota hai kitna suhaana,
Shaam ho gayi hai jaise ek gazal si,
Aur din hai jaise sufiyaana…


Kya hua jo ujad gaya dil ka aashiyaana
Khwaabon ke parindon ko aashiyaan to mila,
Gam kyo ho mujhe lambi akeli dagar ka
Ke fir raah chalte zindagi ka nishaan to mila…


That is all for now (short post na? ;))..will be back with some fresh stuff soon.

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Supervisory Skills Development Workshop

01 Monday Nov 2010

Posted by Sameer More in Uncategorized

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development, self-improvement, supervisory skills, training

After a real long time, yours truly returns to the keyboard and…wonder of wonders…its not to write code/emails/chat… ๐Ÿ˜€ . OK..enough of the long-time-no-write, let us get down to business. (WARNING: Long post follows!!)

Supervisory Skill Development Workshop

Today’s post is about theย Supervisory Skills Development Workshop that I attended on October 21st at J Wย Marriott, Mumbai. The financial damages for the same were borne by Skyscape – something I must thank them for. So, what was it all about and why did I wait for 10 days to put down my thoughts in white and black? ย The gap was simply to allow me to take a more dispassionate view of the workshop. I believe that when we make a comment about something immediately after experiencing it, our expressions are more driven by our immediate reaction(s) rather than by careful thought/analysis. So, here we go…

First of all, this is not intended to be a blow-by-blow commentary of the workshop, neither is going to be a up-to-the-minute, detailed breakdown of all that happened there. Instead, I will be focusing on providing a brief outline of the most important activities and learning from them that took place. Wherever applicable, I will also pitch in with my point of view/additions.

The session started off with a couple of slides with Rajiv (the speaker) speaking about the necessity of such a workshop. The gist of his talk was that though we all possess the necessary skills to supervise people, we all could do better with training and the “coach benefit” which allowed a neutral observer to point out improvements in our way of doing things, that otherwise might have escaped our attention. Then we were made to introduce ourselves – using our names, the work that we do, our passion in life and what we were expecting to take home from the workshop. I used this time to observe the other participants – almost all of them (including myself) showed that they had a little bit of opening up to do, which I think is a natural response of being in a new place, with unknown people. Later on though, they did warm up a lot.

Up next was the “Name Game” – wherein each person had to attach an adjective to his name, beginning with the first letter of his name and say it aloud. The next person was then supposed to repeat the names of all the people before him/her and add their own entry to the list. It was fun to see when people actually struggled to come up with adjectives for themselves. One thought they could do better after spending so many years with themselves. ๐Ÿ˜‰ When the game started, we all believed that the last person would have a hard time remembering all the name/adjective pairs, but to our surprise, she had it the easiest, because the names were almost hammered in her memory by the time it was her turn.

Lessons learnt:

  1. Initial impressions about the level of difficulty of a task can go totally haywire – keep an open mind when you start something.
  2. After 10 days, I remember the names clearly (which was the whole purpose of the game), but not so much the adjectives. What works for others to jog their memory does not fit me.
  3. When playing a game like this, sit at a place from where you can see the name tags clearly. ๐Ÿ˜‰

What followed next was an explanation of our comfort zones, panic zones and how most of our challenges lie in the area between these two. Rajiv then talked about the necessity to constantly expand our comfort zone by stretching ourselves a bit at a time. One thing that the participants had to do was that after every few concepts, one of us was supposed to summarize it for the rest of the group. At this point, I volunteered to do that. I believe that I did a decent job – though others might have a different opinion. ๐Ÿ˜‰

After this, there was this concept of “Teachability Index”, which was defined as:

Teachability Index = (will to learn) x (will to change)

What I found most interesting here is the way how he explained that if one of these two factors is zero, the net outcome is also nil. It is a simple funda, but many of us focus too hard on one, and neglect the other, thereby minimizing their gains.

A listing of the various benefits of improved supervisory skills followed next. Though most of these benefits sounded like typical management speak (increased clarity of purpose/goals, better managed people/projects etc.), what stood out for me was the “reduced misunderstanding regarding expectations”. Too often I have seen people put in their best efforts in the wrong direction, simply because they were not clear about what was expected of them. Also, I believe that when you are in a customer-oriented role in any manner, expectations management plays a huge role in ensuring a happy customer and a stress-free you. When everyone is on the same page, the script unfolds better.

Then there was this activity in which 3 of us were asked to insert wooden pegs in a board, and the rest of us were to observe them, drawing their conclusions. Even in such a simple activity, people showed a wide variation in behaviour in terms of listening to instructions, the manner/order in which they inserted the pegs, and how well they used the available resources they had.

Lessons learnt:

  1. Given a task with no explicit instructions on how to carry it out, people will always do it the way they feel best – and every single person will have his unique definition of “best”.
  2. Some will find an easy way to do things, some will complicate them – try to belong to the first group.
  3. Even when a task is done the same way by 2 persons, the quality of the output will differ.

After this, Rajiv talked about moving towards excellence, wherein he said that:

  • Efficient = Doing things right
  • Effective = Doing the right things
  • Excellent = Doing the right things, better and better

Simple, effective words – ย he drove the point home nicely, I felt.

I have always believed that unless one does justice to oneself, we can not do justice to others or what others expect of us. So I was actually pleasantly surprised when the next topic that came up was “Enhancing Personal Effectiveness”. Here, a number of points were laid out, most important of which were:

  • You are effective when you feel good about yourself.
  • Have a clear, specific, measurable goal and a detailed plan to reach that goal.
  • Be proactive, not reactive.
  • Begin with the end in mind.
  • Accept responsibility.
  • Try to do better than what is expected from you.

Can you see the point that I have highlighted in bold above? Its something I do not agree with, at least not entirely. I feel that though it all seems well and dandy to keep your eyes on the goal always, a la Arjun in Mahabharat, it does prevent you from enjoying the journey to your goal. And to me, excellence is something where enjoying the journey is as much important as reaching the destination. I may reach the goal, but if I have not enjoyed my journey, I have just lost a huge chunk of learning that I could have absorbed in the process.

After talking about personal effectiveness, he laid out a list of things that you could do to be more effective. It was quite a long list, but I would like to state a few of them here:

  1. Create your ideal day/environment in your mind before you start your day (I do this quite a lot and trust me…it works like a charm).
  2. Believe everything is possible.
  3. Don’t repeat your mistakes. (VERY important)
  4. Take help from other people (Do not try to do it all by yourself)
  5. Don’t give up easily.

Up next was something that took me to my Civil Engg. days – it was a game in which a team was supposed to build a tower out of plastic straws. The tallest, self-supporting tower was to be the winner. We ended up making a tower which was not the greatest to look at, but fulfilled all the criteria, except one – we focused more on strength and compromised on the height, which meant that in the end, we fell a few inches short of winning.

Lessons learnt:

  1. If your task is meant to achieve 10 things, 9 is not good enough.
  2. Use all your resources, but use only as much is necessary.
  3. Learn to spot the difference between “good” and “good enough”. Excellence does not mean that you have to be great, sometimes “good enough” fits the bill wonderfully.
  4. Plan, plan, plan.
  5. Have clear goals, and make sure they are communicated effectively. Our job was not to build the strongest tower – it was to build the tallest tower which was strong enough to stand on its own.

The next one was fun – it involved one of us using just words to describe a geometrical pattern – no hand gestures, no prompting…absolutely nothing except words. To top it, he was supposed to keep his hands behind his back. What followed was an assortment of shapes, almost none fitting the bill. Lesson learnt – don’t take communication for granted. What you convey may not be what the other person understands.

If this was fun, what followed was unparalleled hilarity. We were to go through a list of 25 instructions and follow them as quickly as possible. What started off quite harmlessly with filling in your name on the form, and signing our name on the board, soon had us behaving like total weirdos, ย clapping in the air, saying nonsensical sentences aloud and jumping and circling ourselves.ย Only when we reached the end of the form (and read the form fully) did we realize that we were not supposed to do any of that, and just keep quiet after the first 2 instructions.

Lessons learnt:

  1. Always get the full details of what is expected from you. Don’t just rush in and start doing it.
  2. It pays to spend some time doing your initial preparation and thinking – saves your backside in the long run.

Last but not the least was the magic hula hoop activity. Here, a group of people was to balance a plastic ring on their fingertips alone and then bring it down to ground from full height. All the while, you had to ensure that:

  • Everyone’s fingers remained in contact with the ring.
  • The ring did not tilt or fall off.

What seemed quite simple to look at, turned out to be a real experience in how things could go wrong, if not managed and coordinated carefully. One team’s ring went up instead of coming down and even when we had finished, they still had not manged to bring it down. Even in our group, which managed to do it successfully, it was mayhem in the beginning, until one of us (read: me) assumed leadership and the others followed his instructions.

Lessons learnt:

  1. Leadership is not always given, sometimes it needs to be taken.
  2. More the variety in the team, more will be the challenges and scope for things to go wrong.
  3. Co-ordination is easier said than done.

On that note, I would like to call it a day here.

In the interest of brevity, I have dropped off a couple of activities. I will come back and do another post on them. All in all, this was a day well-spent, and I am sure the learnings will stand me in good stead throughout.

See you next time..and hopefully next time should come really soon.

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Never say never again…

16 Tuesday Mar 2010

Posted by Sameer More in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

focus, goals, possibilities

If you are expecting something related to a Bond movie after having a look at the title, let me tell you that you are in for some disappointment. Though the author of this post is just as deadly with his PJs as Bond is with his guns, ย there is going to be no 007 here. Instead, this is going to be about how one should never use the word “never” (Ignore the irony that just occurred).

On a serious note, isn’t it amazing to observe how many of us are so good at putting ourselves into single-lane tracks like those blindfolded horses in a race? Blinding ourselves to the world outside what our limited thoughts can see comes ever so easily to us. Picture this – ย you have your heart set on something very desirable, a gadget maybe, or a particular job offer or even a person whom you want to end up sharing sunsets with (Talking of sharing sunsets, something on that is coming soon, but I digress). Along comes something thats not quite what you had in mind, but which could be an interesting possibility. And whats our typical reaction? We are so fixated with what we have set our eyes on, that we don’t even pause to consider anything else. This is not to say that one should not be single-minded in pursuit of our goals, but at the same time, we should not miss the woods for the trees.

As you must haveย realisedย by now, what I am trying to say here is that one should be open to possibilities. As the Bible puts it so succinctly, only when a grain of wheat falls to the ground, will a harvest beckon. We, though, so tightly hold on to our grains that we deny ourselves the harvest that could have been. And more often that not, what stays with us is a “if-only” regret, which serves no purpose but to frustrate us further. One point that I must make here is that there is no difference between being open to possibilities and being steadfast about your goals. Though they seem to be contradictory, they are not. Being focussed on something does not mean that you cannot entertain other possibilities, it only means that you give them their due consideration, and reject them only after you have satisfied yourself that they are not worth it. It should not mean blind rejection of anything that does not seem to fit into your current perspective.

So how do you know whether you are doing it right? Like almost all things in life, the best judge is you. You are the only one who decides whats right for you – because its you who is going to reap the fruits (sweet or otherwise) of that decision in the end. All that I am saying here is – give every dog its fair share of the bone. Who knows – changing tracks might lead you on to the best journey you ever took.

On that note, I will sign off before I metamorphose into a white-robed priest delivering a Sunday sermon..hehe. ๐Ÿ˜€

Till next time, keep reading!!

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a lot did happen over coffee…

26 Saturday Dec 2009

Posted by Sameer More in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

looking back

So…once again I return to Soul Country after a longish time, after promising (yet again) to be regular with my posts. Well…all I will say is that I am indeed regular..just that I am not as frequent as I would want to be. ๐Ÿ˜€

And before you have a look at the post title and think that I am CCD’s new brand ambassador, let me deny that possibility. What gets me hitting the keyboard once again is the time of the year when we are already looking forward to the next one, in anticipation of getting what we couldn’t lay our hands on this time, of achieving what eluded us this time. Normally, I do this around my birthday, but this time I thought the year-end was as good a time as any to look back on the 365 days gone by. Having a 3-day weekend at my disposal with nothing much to do helped,too. ๐Ÿ˜‰

For ease of thought flow (and to enable the readers to run away whenever they feel like ๐Ÿ˜› ), I will be dividing this one into a few sub-categories:

  1. Career:
    Unlike the years gone by, this was one front which saw quite diminished activity, at least on the surface. Underneath the surface, however, a different story was being scripted. This year was not only about putting in additional efforts into my own work, but also about being responsible for others’ work,too. In that sense, I learned a lot about managing mine and others’ resources to ensure that the responsibilities get fulfilled (read: backsides don’t get whipped ๐Ÿ˜€ ). OK…on a serious note, it helped me widen my outlook and become more proficient in my job. Also, the year-end saw some positive changes happening in this sphere. Of course, I still have a long way before I can look back and say that I am really happy with what I have achieved, and there were a few disappointments along the way, but on the all, this year has been one of growth. What I aim to do in 2010 is to aim for the stars, and land them in my lap. So does this mean that I am looking to be in a new place next year? Well..that depends on if the person reading this post is my boss or not… ๐Ÿ˜‰
  2. Human Connections:
    As I have mentioned long back, I prefer the use of this phrase over done-to-death-and-beyond clichรฉs like “Love”, “Relationships”, “Friendships”, โ€œRomanceโ€ and so on. However, the activity in this sphere has been quite frenetic this year, so it will be divided into 2 parts, as you will see if you have reached so far, and still manage to hold on till you reach there. ๐Ÿ˜›
    When I had used this term for the first time (way back in 2006), I was rather surprised (even shocked) by the changes that had taken place in this area of my life. Not so this time – now it was just about a little bit of surprise, no shocks. If 2006 was about making a large number of new friends and being exposed to a wide peoplescape, 2009 was more about trimming the weeds, and concentrating on what was really important to me. I made very few new friends/acquaintances this year, and some of the older faces dropped off the landscape, but on the whole, I would say I am quite happy with the way things stand now. As always, there is scope for improvement, but I know I am on the right track, and I know where I am going. ๐Ÿ™‚
  3. Dil (na) bole hadippa:
    This is one area where the most profound changes took place – and this was what really helped me “grow” as a person. Normally, this is something you won’t find me talking about –ย  to the extent that some people actually will fall off from their chairs on reading this.
    This was the year where I found myself in midst of lots of action. I fell in love (yet again, as my pals would say), proposed marriage (no…this does not belong to “yet again” category). This was indeed my first time…and I am quite surprised with the (relative) ease with which I did it. So, any of you who are reading this, and are unable to open up your hearts and mouths, you know whom to contact. ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Now follows the next logical question (a programmer has to find logic in everything :D) – what happened next? Well…the fact that I am still single should say it all. Here’s where the title of this post comes into play – a lot did happen over coffee… Lots of bonding, hours of crazy conversations, some real good listening (very unusual for someone like me who loves the sound of his own voice) and not to mention, a whole lot of involvement. Somewhere down the line, things did not really turn my way, but touch wood… they did not turn bad, as one would normally expect them to. I know this sounds so dreamily idealistic, and even unreal, but then that’s how it is.
  4. I, Me, Myself:
    Coming back to what was at the centre of all these happenings – truly yours truly (no…that’s not a typo, I indeed meant “truly” to be used twice).
    To be honest, when 2009 started off, I had expected it to be a hectic one on other fronts, and comparatively peaceful on the personal front. However, as it draws to an end, I am realising that reality has turned out to be quite the opposite. 2009 saw me go from a shy-ish, reticent introvert to one who calmly but confidently spoke his mind, even when there could be a storm of thoughts/emotions raging within. I may not be an extrovert yet, but I have much less trouble expressing myself, whatever the situation may be. Most importantly, I am now not afraid of failure or of not getting what I want. What matters more to me now is that if I want something, I should give my best towards making it happen. I may not win all the stakes, but I will make sure that I have left nothing on the table. Those interested in astrology might say that this does not sound like the peaceful/cautious bull that I look to be, but let me issue a reminder – I am a cusp and this is just the ram side of me taking over for what really matters to me.
    The major driver for this change was the upheaval that I went through after what happened in point 3 above. Generally, one would expect themselves to be in a mental soup, and for some time, that did happen to me, but surprisingly (or not so surprisingly), the pain itself became the source of my strength. Today, I know that I stood strong for what I truly wanted, regardless of the outcome. And that when the going gets rough again, I will be more than equipped to make a game of the cards that are dealt to me.
    Another major change I observed that people around me took me more seriously, to the extent that I could goof up a bit and yet be taken on face value just because “Sameer says so…”. While some of my helpful friends would attribute it happily to the fact that I am on the wrong side of 30 now, and the grey matter outside my head is beginning to compete with the one inside, I prefer to turn a deaf ear to them :P. The key factor behind this change, I think, is that now I take myself more seriously than ever before. If I want to do something, it takes me much less effort to convince myself that I can do it. And when I back myself to do something, I tend to give it all that I have, as I said just above.

I just read what I had written above and realised that it was beginning more like blowing my own trumpet than a review as such. So, on that note, I will call it a day here. If you have survived till here and are searching for me to land a few blows on me –ย  remember…you brought this on yourself. ๐Ÿ˜› As a respite, there’s always the comments section where you can vent steam. ๐Ÿ˜€

The breeze will blow past these pages soon….Till then, adios… ๐Ÿ™‚

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Superman ain’t no super

04 Sunday Oct 2009

Posted by Sameer More in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

The title of the post may sound as if J Jonah Jameson of Spiderman infamy got into the Superman strip, courtesy a copy-paste error ,or “printing mistake”, as is the latest political term for it, but hang on, and you will know what I am trying to convey here (hopefully).

I was watching “Batman Begins” a few days back, when I happened to subconsciously go over all the superhero stories I have seen/read/heard over the years, right from the days when I aspired for a cape and a body-hugging suit of my own. For all the variety in their wizardry, strengths and rationale for existence, one binding factor firmly remains in place – each one of them has a weakness. Some or the other chink in the armour (so to speak) which allows their nemesis to get a move on them, claim (a bit) more screen-space and in general, to remind us that no one is perfect, not even a superhero. This can also be a marketing gimmick to keep the people coming in, as a good adversary always makes a combat more interesting, and marketable (If you have any doubt about that – go watch a Bangladesh vs. anyone (except Kenya/Zimbabwe) series ๐Ÿ˜› ). But anyways, I digress. Let me hit home before I stray too far.

So, coming back to superheroes and their weaknesses, every superhero of note seems to have one. For Spiderman, it is Mary Jane…for Superman, its Lois Lane (Kryptonite, in my opinion, is a lesser weakness) and for the Dark Knight, its his fear of bats and the cross of having to live out a dual life, alternating between a do-gooder and a spoilt billionaire playboy.

So what I am really trying to say here? That every superhero has his nemesis and is human, just like all of us, in the end? Naah…look at it this way – rather than thinking that all superheroes have weaknesses, can we not think that at least some of us, can overcome our weaknesses and capitalise on our strengths, and be our own hero? Agreed that we can’t be superheroes, all-achieving, all-powerful, but we can definitely make our own (and possibly, someone else’s) life better with a little genuine effort. All it takes is a little effort to make the change, and a lot more willingness to see the scope for change in the first place. We can go through our lives cribbing that we don’t have a perfect body, a good job, successful relationships, but we never pause to think if we have taken the pains to hit the gym, put in those intense work hours, or bothered to prune out the wrong kind of relationships from our life and nurture the right ones. Do we even bother to check how things have gone wrong and how they could be set right, instead of just being an armchair critic of our own life? The answer –ย  in many instances (including mine, at many times) is a definite no.

It is so very effortless to just clap at the achievements of a superhero and shed tears on a fallen one. What we never bother ourselves with is to actually sit and think through what it is that really turns a normal human being into an idol of sorts, apart from being bitten by a spider or having to witness the untimely trauma of his parents’ death. Superheroes go through exceptional circumstances in their lives, but not everyone has to be subject to such happenings to be their own hero. I believe that whatever I have managed to learn from and about life, has not been sparked by any out-of-the-ordinary impulses, but fairly common situations and disappointments, which I managed (albeit, after lots of time/effort) to look at from the right perspective.

And what I have been doing for this to happen? Nothing much, apart from some intense observation/introspection, a willingness to “suffer” today for a better tomorrow and some good old-fashioned hard work. Also, I have been lucky enough to have friends who don’t believe in just saying good things about me, but are equally willing to kick my behind whenever required. Not that they succeed always, but it’s mostly quite effective ๐Ÿ˜‰

So, instead of just idolising the hero on screen, why don’t we just devote a few minutes today to being our own hero? Why not be a creator rather than a spectator? I know its not an easy path to walk, but then, rarely anything actually worth doing is easy to do. I won’t go on about what you need to do to be a better person –ย  you are the captain of your own ship, you know better how to steer it. And I am certainly no “Life Coach”, at least not right now. All I will say is – go ahead, don’t just look at the screen, work towards blazing your own trail across it.

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90 to go…

14 Sunday Jun 2009

Posted by Sameer More in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

This post has been long overdue (and yes, so has been my return to Soul Country). Lets just say that I got a bit too lazy over the past few months in terms of putting some fresh content out here. But as I always like to say, better late than never. So, here we go, once again, walking the bylanes of the soul. ๐Ÿ™‚

Let me make the theme clear at the outset. This post is inspired by Dasvidaniya, a brilliant film I saw quite a while back (one of the few flicks where I didn’t feel I had wasted my dough). While the film was an engaging piece of cinema and it was really easy to adore the leading man (deep down, we all love the underachiever, don’t we?), what I really took back home was the basic undercurrent of the film – what do you do when you realise that life (as you have known it) is no longer going to be with you. There is so much that you wanted to do and all you have been really doing is existing without making a difference to yourself or for that matter, others around you.

As should be apparent by now, this is not about the film, but rather on the thought process that it triggered within. Much as I pride myself (sometimes without enough reason..hehe) for “planning” and “scoping out” my life and what I want to do with it – this one question really foxed me. Have I really been prioritising enough? If my life were to end at this very moment, would I be able to tell my friend in the sky that I couldn’t have done better with what he has given me? Well, embarassing as it seems, the anwer does not exactly seem to be affirmative. Of course, the scenario is much better than what it was, say 2 years back, but I still have a long way to go.

So, without further ado, let me get down to the brass tacks. ย If I am going to be just a memory for those who know me, come September, then this is what I will set out to do:

  1. Quit my job : Now this will come as a shocker to those who are used to seeing the workaholic Sam, who is always at home in office (wordplay intended). However, for those who know me to be the lazybone that I actually am (not many in this group – I manage to put up a good pretense ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) this will come as no surprise. OK…jokes (and pretenses) apart, work is not something that I would want to be doing for the last 90 days of my life.
  2. Get a big, fat insurance policy : Considering how devilish I can be at times (I am sure a certain person will whole-heartedly agree with this ๐Ÿ˜› ) this is all too obvious. Its not as if I have accumulated millions in my lifetime, and statistically speaking, the odds of hitting the jackpot in these last days is next to the beginning of the universe – a big zero. So, why not lighten the insurance companies coffers a little? ๐Ÿ˜‰ That will also provide for my parents (or whoever is dependant on me at that time).
  3. Learn to ride a bike : This is something I have always planned to do (and will do soon, even if not faced with a 90-day deadline). Being in control and practicality is something I have always valued all my life, and for once, I want to experience the thrill of just letting go of all caution to the wind and race down a highway at 140+ kmph. Actually, I wanted to have a car ride here, but I guess when it comes to getting a feel of sheer abandon, a bike is a much better deal than a car anyday (practicality at play again) ๐Ÿ˜€
  4. Learn to play the guitar : Finally, one predictable item in the list. But then, rocking the stage with a guitar on my pelvis has always been a deep-rooted childhood fantasy of mine (alongwith playing Superman and saving the world from disaster). I guess thats what happens when you get exposed to Bryan Adams and Superman (in that order) pretty early. I even have thought of the song which I would be singing, and no marks for guessing – it is indeed “Everything I do“. So people,when I get the news, you better remember to close your ears or atleast find some earplugs and smile politely while I strut my stuff ๐Ÿ˜‰
  5. Publish a book : Now why does this come in a little low in the list? Simply because this is not an ordered list – I am just jotting down things as they come to my mind. Seeing my name in print has been a dream of mine for some time now (what do you think made me turn to blogging anyways?) and nothing like going out with a bang…what say?
  6. Do some anonymous charity : I have always believed that all of us should try to leave this world a better place than how it was when we got it. And I don’t see any reason why I should not do so when leaving it. About the anonymous bit, well…its not as if I want to live a legacy behind or something (I spent all my narcissism on seeing my name in print ๐Ÿ˜€ ). The mere fact I could do something positive with my life is good enough for me.
  7. Go on a cruise : I have always had a thing for big ships on the high seas (and before you think so, let me clarify that this has absolutely nothing to do with Titanic or Kate Winslet :D). Just being at one with the vast expanses of water, the calming influence of the sun kissing the sea over the horizon – thats one thing I would definitely like to experience.

This was definitely a fun exercise (and to be honest, a learning experience as well). Everyone should do this thing once in a while (making lists, that is, not dying – you don’t need to do anything to die – it happens naturally ๐Ÿ˜€ )

Usually, lists of this kind include things like falling in love (preferrably unconditionally, hopelessly etc.), making potloads of money, or proposing to the girl of your dreams – now why those things don’t figure here – that I will leave to you to draw your own conclusions ๐Ÿ˜‰

Till the next time I hit the keyboard, adios…

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Long time no see….

10 Sunday Aug 2008

Posted by Sameer More in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Well…what do I say, except that “I am back”. So what if it’s after a long time (correction: a real long time). The last time I wandered into Soul Country was more than a year back. Not that everything was dead and dull in Soul Country, it just turned out to be a planned hiatus which got a tad too long. But now, the walker is back and hopefully, he will keep coming back more frequently. Of course, this time round, there is a slight change in the scheme of things.
Previously, Soul Country was, to put it plainly a mish-mash of expression. Views, opinions, mixed with my attempts at playing wordsmith were the order of the day. As a result, it was more of a catch-all basket than an attempt at expression. From now on, it will serve more as a life journal. Of course, I will continue to tell stories , but I will be doing so in The Unlit Corner – a blog meant for those times when I find myself in the mood to spin a yarn.
So, here’s to further visits to Soul Country…
๐Ÿ™‚

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