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Monthly Archives: December 2013

This a point meant

10 Tuesday Dec 2013

Posted by Sameer More in Life, Musings, Optimism

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

life, musings, possibilities

This is how I used to pronounce “disappointment” in my head when I was in school. The reason I used to do this was because I had difficulty remembering how to pronounce (not spell though) long words. This technique proved quite successful for me. So, if you want to know who to blame for my usage of long words, you now know. Yes – that would still be me. 😀

Long words apart, little did I know that my fun game of using small words to remember long ones would reveal the real meaning of the longer word, especially in this case. Confused as to what am I trying to say? The dictionary defines disappointment as “sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations”. And that does seem pretty much to the point. After all, aren’t we all saddened (to differing extents) when things don’t go the way we want them to? No matter how detached we claim to be, it still pinches us when we want something and it is denied to us. But…but…there is a catch here. At least I have almost always found a catch. Yup, I’m a real-life Jonty Rhodes when it comes to finding catches. 😛

More often than not, I have found that disappointment is nothing but a challenge thrown at us. It says “Okay, so you wanted this? Anyone can get what they want and feel happy/proud. Let us see how you do when you don’t get what you want.” The challenge here is to realise that things won’t always go your way in the first go, and then either doggedly pursue your goal till you achieve it, or take a step back, smile to yourself and gracefully accept that things are not going to go your way. Perhaps better destinations await your journey, perhaps this is what you want but not need. Which path you finally walk down, will depend on you and your circumstances, but one thing remains common to both – disappointment is not always about life denying you what you deserve. Sometimes, it is simply making a point which you have missed in your hurry to end up where you want to be.

Now I agree that it is very easy to lecture someone about not getting affected by disappointment, and quite difficult to implement it yourself. Despite what I have wrote above, I do not always manage to handle disappointment well. It leaves me blue, even morose at times. The funny thing though (and I am fortunate for it to be like that) is that I’m simply unable to stay blue for long. Call it callousness or even simply not caring enough, it has worked well for me so far. What it has also thought me is this – disappointment is simply a stone thrown at you. Whether to bang your head against it, or to use it as a stepping stone to peace is totally in our hands. You can also use it to smash someone else’s head too, but in case you do that, I did not tell you to do so. 😀

How to overcome disappointment? Now that is something everyone needs to figure out for themselves. A combination of dogged optimism and positivity works well for me, but others might perceive it as unrealistic and impractical. What remains true through out though, is this – disappointment really does mean a point that life is trying to make. You would do well to pay attention to it.

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This above all, to thine own self be true

09 Monday Dec 2013

Posted by Sameer More in Life, Looking back, Musings

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Tags

life, looking back, memories, musings

Disclaimer: If you expect this post to make sense, please stop reading right now. This is meant only as a random series of thoughts and nothing else.

So said the bard many years ago, and the words continue to hold true even today. However, the reason why these words popped up in my mind today is entirely different. I was talking to a friend of mine, and after some time, the conversation veered towards towards my (non-existent) love life. She asked me if I was seeing someone. I replied that I wasn’t, but I held hope that somewhere down the line, I will have someone in my life. While I did expect her to say something positive, what she said next did come as a surprise. “You have lit up many lives. God will definitely brighten up your path soon.” were her words. I am no stranger to compliments (call that boasting if you want) but that did set me thinking.

In all my life and interactions with people, I have evoked a variety of reactions among people. I have been called an angel at times, an asshole at others. There have been people who have started off with calling me an awesome guy, and ended up calling me an awful person to know. There have also been people who have gone the other way round (thankfully). Amid all this, what has remained constant is my amusement at how the same person can elicit such diametrically different reactions in the very same people over time. I do understand that I have changed over time – sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. Circumstances too have their say in how I behave, and consequently, what people think of me. But the change has been quite dramatic in some cases. There have been individuals with whom I hit off so well, that it seemed to be the beginning of a long friendship but some of these ended in them walking out of my life, supposedly pissed off at/by me, yet not bothering to tell me why. And there have been chance encounters which have blossomed into some of the most precious friendships I have ever experienced.

While the positive experiences warm my heart, and the not-so-good ones leave me dejected, I have slowly learnt not to take either of these too much to heart. There will always be people who will be fond of me, and there will be those who can’t stand the sight of me. But yet, at the centre of it all, I am very much the same person. And I am the only person whom I have around at all times – bright or blue. I may not be right always, but neither am I always at fault. All I really need to do is to be honest to myself and those around me, and I am sure life will work out the rest quite well. That is the only thing I aim for. So, whether you think of me as a great guy or as someone who grates on your nerves, understand that I am just being myself. If you have an issue with that, be honest about it, I promise that I will give it a thought. What I don’t promise is to change myself because you think I need to. That will happen only when I think I need to, because as uncle William said – “This above all, to thine own self be true”. 🙂

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