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Tag Archives: fresh start

Don’t hunch

19 Wednesday Feb 2014

Posted by Sameer More in Hope, Life, Musings, Optimism

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

focus, fresh start, goals, life, possibilities

Spiderman happens to be one of my favourite movies. This is not a case of typical superhero worship, but because the ‘superhero” here is not really a “superhero”. He is more a product of the circumstances that surround him, albeit extraordinary ones. But before I digress, this blog is not about Spiderman per se, this is about a line from the movie that I like a lot.

Now there are many memorable lines in this movie. Who doesn’t remember “With great power comes great responsibility” or for that matter “the one thing they love more than a hero…is to see a hero fail, fall, die trying.”? But my personal favourite remains from a small scene where Mary Jane Watson is talking to Peter outside her house. She says “You are taller than you look.”. Peter replies “I hunch” and she simply says “Don’t”. This, to me, captures a very important life lesson – don’t hunch.

One of the most common mistakes that many of us do while going through life is to underestimate ourselves or to think that we don’t have it in us to overcome certain challenges/situations. I have been particularly guilty of this, especially in my younger days when I was more introverted than a hibernating frog. We always have something or the other which acts as a limiting factor for our aspirations. “I don’t know how I will manage to lose weight”, “I wish I had the confidence to ask that girl out”, “I wish I could stand up to that bully” are all situations many of us have gone through without bothering to stand up for ourselves. We don’t really push ourselves to take that step towards fulfilling our wishes or realizing certain dreams. We always console ourselves saying that these things are “easier said than done”. However, we forget that while these things are indeed “easier said than done”, they are also “worthier done than lost”. We get so trapped in the fear (or lethargy) of our (mostly) self-imagined limitations that we never really try and enjoy the sweet pain of breaking those chains. Yes, like any chains, the breaking of these need lots of effort, which can be (very) painful. Yet, I can safely say that none of us will really complain about the pain if we were to enjoy the fruits of freedom once we have broken them.

There can be many ways to break free of our self-imposed limitations. The level of effort required will vary from person to person, depending on their own unique qualities and their circumstances. One thing remains constant though – we cannot break free until we stop underestimating ourselves. It is so easy to tell ourselves that we cannot achieve what our heart wants, so much so that many prefer living with regret of not having tried than risking failure. When I was growing up, I never thought I had it in me to ask out a girl if I liked her. Today when I look back, I realise how silly I was to not take the chances that I had. Of course there was no guarantee that these would have blossomed into something more significant, but my not acting on them only ensured that they would never blossom further. The only reason this happened was because I believed deeply that I didn’t have what would make any girl like/love me. Hence I preferred to keep my mouth shut rather than open it and make a spectacle of myself. Today, I know I was quite wrong. The plain fact is that underestimating myself has cost me a lot in life in terms of missed opportunities and chances at glory. The day I realised this was the day I truly stopped saying “I cannot do this” to any situation/challenge. Till date, this remains the best decision I ever made.

There is no mathematical formula or even any well-tested procedure to stop underestimating yourself. However, I can say this from my own experience – the day you start saying “I deserve better” is the day you stop underestimating yourself. Of course, there still remains a lot be done to reach your goals, but you have already taken the biggest step of your journey. And trust me on this, no matter who you are or where life has placed you, you always deserve better if you are willing to work towards it.

There is a lot I can say about this, but I know I would sound like a broken record, so I will only say this (at the risk of sounding like a broken record) – don’t hunch. 🙂

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The other seat

10 Friday Jan 2014

Posted by Sameer More in Dreams, Fiction, Life, Musings

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

fresh start, life, memories

It was a typical New Year evening – relaxing lazily yet buzzing to bring in the new year with a bang. Like every year, I was sitting in the coffee shop at “our” favourite table. And just like the past couple of years, the seat in front of me was empty. This was now a routine for me – to bring in the new year just like we used to in the past. Though she was no longer a part of my life, the new year coffee was my connection to her, like the previous chapter of a book flowing into the next one. Sometimes the coffee shop guys used to play some of our songs, which lent that extra edge to the evening.

As I sat there, enjoying my “Devil’s Own”, I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning around, I saw a tall, strapping guy looking down at me. “Can I take a seat?” he asked, pointing to the chair in front of me. Slightly irritated, I said “No..actually I’m expecting a friend to join me. So you can’t have it. I’m sorry”, hoping to be left alone. What he said next shook me up – “You know quite well that this seat is going to be unoccupied the entire evening. Don’t you?“. “No, it will be occupied in some time now”, I lied in a stern voice, expecting that this pesky fellow would get lost at least now. He appeared unperturbed.

“Well, I know for a fact that it is going to stay vacant.”
“And how exactly do you know that?”
“Because I know the person you want to be sitting there. I am married to her.”

Now this actually left me dumbstruck, and all I could do for the next few moments was just stare at him – a mix of surprise, anger and embarrassment flushing across my face rapidly. He appeared to be quite composed, and then, he pulled a chair from another table and sat in front of me. “Don’t worry…I am not going to occupy that seat. I know what it means to you.” As he sat there, I was still deciding how to react to what was happening. Should I be angry at him for taking away someone who meant the world to me, and then calmly coming back to rub salt in the wounds which never really healed? Should I just walk away and save myself some embarrassment? Would I be justified in giving him a piece of my mind? What the hell should I really do? While all this was going on in my mind, my lips could only say “How do you know me?”. “I have seen a pic of you guys…on her phone.”, he said.

“She still has our pics on her phone?”
“She used to have. She deleted those after I happened to see them and fought with her.”
“I’m sorry you guys had a fight over the pics.”
“You don’t have to be sorry, and the fight wasn’t about the pics. Actually, it wasn’t only about the pics.”
“Hmm…I am actually surprised you recognized me.”, I attempted to change the topic.
“Well…you don’t seem to be someone who is easily forgotten.”
“I used to think so, too.”, I said as a  hint of dejection trickled into my voice.

This was the first time I noticed a certain tremor in his voice. This was not the voice of an angry man, it sounded more like a hurt one.

“Do you know why I am here today? It is not just to see you or see what kind of a person you are, but also because I know my wife doesn’t want me around at least today. Just as you are sitting here in the coffee shop, she has gone to some library.”
“The Royal Library?”
“Yes – that one.”
“…”
“I will not take much of your time. I just wanted to tell you that she is okay. And though she is with me, in her mind, she stills goes back to you at times.”
“Does that really make any difference at all?”
“As much as we both want it to not make a difference, you and I both know that it does – to all of us.“, said he, in a matter-of-fact tone.

For what seemed like a long time, none of us spoke anything. I kept staring at the Devil’s Own, while he kept his gaze on me. Finally when I couldn’t bear the silence any longer, I blurted out “Nice to meet you. I should get going now”.

“She was right. You are very uncomfortable with silence, except hers.”
“Yes, I am. Please try to make sure that she doesn’t have to remain silent for long – it suffocates her.”
“I will try my best. For good or for bad, we are together now, and I will have to win her trust. I know I have to fight a difficult battle, which I may or may not win. I will try my best though.”
“Thanks! I have to ask one more thing from you.”
“Whats that?”
“Tell her that you came here to see me, and I wasn’t here.”
“But you are indeed here, and she knows that you will be here today.”
“She has to think that I was not here, otherwise she will never be with you.”
“…”
“You are not a villain, but you don’t have to be a martyr either. Trust me, I can do a better job of it.”

As he walked away, in my heart, I knew that the next new year evening wasn’t going to be spent in this place.

Disclaimer: Though this post is written in first person, and is indeed inspired by incidents in my life, it is fictional. Thanks to my friends who called up and asked “Did this really happen?”. I will take it as a sign of your love for me (or more optimistically, an evidence of some writing skills on my part). 😉

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A fresh start…

09 Sunday Jan 2011

Posted by Sameer More in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

fresh start, musings, shayari

OK..so here I am…and here is a (still) new year. What has not changed, however, is the frequency of my posts here. 😉
But this year, things will surely be different.

Starting off with some couplets which I have previously written, but did not get down to posting. Hopefully, finally seeing them out in the world should fan the spark for some more…

Kuch baadal sawaalon ke, kuch boondein khwaabon ki,
Main raah dekhta hoon, aankhen moond khwaabon ki,
Kuch teri muskaan ka asar hai, kuch teri aankhon ka,
Ab kami nahi khalti, gulistaan mein gulaabon ki…


Tumse milke humne jaana,
Dard bhi hota hai kitna suhaana,
Shaam ho gayi hai jaise ek gazal si,
Aur din hai jaise sufiyaana…


Kya hua jo ujad gaya dil ka aashiyaana
Khwaabon ke parindon ko aashiyaan to mila,
Gam kyo ho mujhe lambi akeli dagar ka
Ke fir raah chalte zindagi ka nishaan to mila…


That is all for now (short post na? ;))..will be back with some fresh stuff soon.

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