So…once again I return to Soul Country after a longish time, after promising (yet again) to be regular with my posts. Well…all I will say is that I am indeed regular..just that I am not as frequent as I would want to be. 😀
And before you have a look at the post title and think that I am CCD’s new brand ambassador, let me deny that possibility. What gets me hitting the keyboard once again is the time of the year when we are already looking forward to the next one, in anticipation of getting what we couldn’t lay our hands on this time, of achieving what eluded us this time. Normally, I do this around my birthday, but this time I thought the year-end was as good a time as any to look back on the 365 days gone by. Having a 3-day weekend at my disposal with nothing much to do helped,too. 😉
For ease of thought flow (and to enable the readers to run away whenever they feel like 😛 ), I will be dividing this one into a few sub-categories:
Unlike the years gone by, this was one front which saw quite diminished activity, at least on the surface. Underneath the surface, however, a different story was being scripted. This year was not only about putting in additional efforts into my own work, but also about being responsible for others’ work,too. In that sense, I learned a lot about managing mine and others’ resources to ensure that the responsibilities get fulfilled (read: backsides don’t get whipped 😀 ). OK…on a serious note, it helped me widen my outlook and become more proficient in my job. Also, the year-end saw some positive changes happening in this sphere. Of course, I still have a long way before I can look back and say that I am really happy with what I have achieved, and there were a few disappointments along the way, but on the all, this year has been one of growth. What I aim to do in 2010 is to aim for the stars, and land them in my lap. So does this mean that I am looking to be in a new place next year? Well..that depends on if the person reading this post is my boss or not… 😉
- Human Connections:
As I have mentioned long back, I prefer the use of this phrase over done-to-death-and-beyond clichés like “Love”, “Relationships”, “Friendships”, “Romance” and so on. However, the activity in this sphere has been quite frenetic this year, so it will be divided into 2 parts, as you will see if you have reached so far, and still manage to hold on till you reach there. 😛
When I had used this term for the first time (way back in 2006), I was rather surprised (even shocked) by the changes that had taken place in this area of my life. Not so this time – now it was just about a little bit of surprise, no shocks. If 2006 was about making a large number of new friends and being exposed to a wide peoplescape, 2009 was more about trimming the weeds, and concentrating on what was really important to me. I made very few new friends/acquaintances this year, and some of the older faces dropped off the landscape, but on the whole, I would say I am quite happy with the way things stand now. As always, there is scope for improvement, but I know I am on the right track, and I know where I am going. 🙂
- Dil (na) bole hadippa:
This is one area where the most profound changes took place – and this was what really helped me “grow” as a person. Normally, this is something you won’t find me talking about – to the extent that some people actually will fall off from their chairs on reading this.
This was the year where I found myself in midst of lots of action. I fell in love (yet again, as my pals would say), proposed marriage (no…this does not belong to “yet again” category). This was indeed my first time…and I am quite surprised with the (relative) ease with which I did it. So, any of you who are reading this, and are unable to open up your hearts and mouths, you know whom to contact. 😉
Now follows the next logical question (a programmer has to find logic in everything :D) – what happened next? Well…the fact that I am still single should say it all. Here’s where the title of this post comes into play – a lot did happen over coffee… Lots of bonding, hours of crazy conversations, some real good listening (very unusual for someone like me who loves the sound of his own voice) and not to mention, a whole lot of involvement. Somewhere down the line, things did not really turn my way, but touch wood… they did not turn bad, as one would normally expect them to. I know this sounds so dreamily idealistic, and even unreal, but then that’s how it is.
- I, Me, Myself:
Coming back to what was at the centre of all these happenings – truly yours truly (no…that’s not a typo, I indeed meant “truly” to be used twice).
To be honest, when 2009 started off, I had expected it to be a hectic one on other fronts, and comparatively peaceful on the personal front. However, as it draws to an end, I am realising that reality has turned out to be quite the opposite. 2009 saw me go from a shy-ish, reticent introvert to one who calmly but confidently spoke his mind, even when there could be a storm of thoughts/emotions raging within. I may not be an extrovert yet, but I have much less trouble expressing myself, whatever the situation may be. Most importantly, I am now not afraid of failure or of not getting what I want. What matters more to me now is that if I want something, I should give my best towards making it happen. I may not win all the stakes, but I will make sure that I have left nothing on the table. Those interested in astrology might say that this does not sound like the peaceful/cautious bull that I look to be, but let me issue a reminder – I am a cusp and this is just the ram side of me taking over for what really matters to me.
The major driver for this change was the upheaval that I went through after what happened in point 3 above. Generally, one would expect themselves to be in a mental soup, and for some time, that did happen to me, but surprisingly (or not so surprisingly), the pain itself became the source of my strength. Today, I know that I stood strong for what I truly wanted, regardless of the outcome. And that when the going gets rough again, I will be more than equipped to make a game of the cards that are dealt to me.
Another major change I observed that people around me took me more seriously, to the extent that I could goof up a bit and yet be taken on face value just because “Sameer says so…”. While some of my helpful friends would attribute it happily to the fact that I am on the wrong side of 30 now, and the grey matter outside my head is beginning to compete with the one inside, I prefer to turn a deaf ear to them :P. The key factor behind this change, I think, is that now I take myself more seriously than ever before. If I want to do something, it takes me much less effort to convince myself that I can do it. And when I back myself to do something, I tend to give it all that I have, as I said just above.
I just read what I had written above and realised that it was beginning more like blowing my own trumpet than a review as such. So, on that note, I will call it a day here. If you have survived till here and are searching for me to land a few blows on me – remember…you brought this on yourself. 😛 As a respite, there’s always the comments section where you can vent steam. 😀
The breeze will blow past these pages soon….Till then, adios… 🙂