Category Archives: Love

An old return. A new beginning.

26 Saturday Dec 2015

Posted by in Life, Looking back, Love, Musings, Optimism

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Returning to writing after a long time has a charm, as well as a risk of its own. On one hand, the longing to get back to the realm of words tugs at your soul. On the other, you tend to remember why you had stopped coming there and grow wistful. Be it sheer laziness to hit the keyboard for reasons other than bread and butter, or the fear of your words exposing the secrets you have painstakingly kept hidden from the world, it is always a tricky business – maintaining the balance between the urge to tell and the desire to remain silent. Add to this the typical philosophical or “year in review” mode I usually find myself around this time of the year and there can either be drama or disaster – nothing in between. That said, I hope my return here today will be a fruitful one.

One of the hazards of writing after a long time is to decide what to write about and what to leave unmentioned. Typically, I would write about the year gone by or something that impacted me deeply, or even the hottest topic of the day (whatever that happens to be). This time, however, I have chosen to write about how the year gone by changed me (for good or for bad) and what I would like to see myself as in 2016. It is quite possible that this post will contain too much of “I, Me, Myself”. Please bear with me (or glide away in cyberspace, if you choose to) 🙂

2015 was a year where “The more things change, the more they remain the same” proved to be true, sometimes in a good sense, sometimes in a not so great one. While the career went (and is still going) great guns, a lot still remains to be achieved. The hunger to prove myself is strong as ever, and the fire of happy dissatisfaction which has always been my propelling force, still burns bright. I travelled to a new country (for work), met new people, saw places that I had always wanted to see, and all this totally on my own, without any company. For someone, who is more comfortable in company than in solitude, this was an interesting occurrence. While health was largely okay, there was a slight scare which was taken care of. Love/companionship was an area where life continued to tease (and taunt). While it was indeed disappointing to end the year with a single status, that is something I have learnt to take in my stride.

For all that it gave (and pushed on) to me, 2015 did manage to change me. I grew a lot quieter (I know that will come as a relief to some :D), more introspective and less likely to use my tongue before I used my brains. From being someone who used to be (mostly) emotion-driven, I learnt to hide them when needed. While internally, I am still as much of a little child as I was a year ago, I learnt to put up a more “grown up” (read: unemotional) face when faced with an unfavourable situation. What also changed was that I learnt to better read people before forming an opinion about them or trusting them. I am still not perfect, but I am much better and hopefully, this will stand me in good stead in the times to come. Last but not the least, I realised I still had the ability to make people smile, even when I wasn’t exactly smiling myself. That was something I thought I had lost along the way.

So, what did not change? The undying (and stubborn) optimism still remains. That is something I hope never changes. The ability to forgive easily still remains (though I do wish I had the ability to forget as well). The easy smile is still there, though the laughter doesn’t burst like before. The desire to do the best in everything that I undertake hasn’t dimmed, and neither has the happiness when I see my loved ones happy. 🙂 I can still wax eloquent (or philosophical as needed) for hours at end when I am in the mood. Oh, and the “quality” of my PJs still remains intact. Whether that is good news or not, depends on how much of them you are subjected to. 😀

All in all, 2015 did give me a lot (while taking away a bit) and I will be grateful to life for yet another worthy year. Looking at the way things are lined up for 2016, I am hoping for it to be a milestone year (in many aspects). Hopefully, I will be much more regular here to document it. Till then, here is to forever optimism and never say die. 2K16, here I come! 🙂

 

Of moments and waves

21 Sunday Jun 2015

Posted by in Dreams, Fiction, Life, Love

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It was an unusual monsoon evening in the city of dreams. Not for today, the evening’s moisture-laden winds or the unruly chaos of people crowding the shore. Instead, what blew across the sands was a slightly dry, yet cool and strong breeze. The sea of humanity had somehow taken a backseat to the “real” sea. The only thing that remained unchanged was the molten orange of the setting sun, melancholic yet fulfilled, inching towards its home somewhere on the horizon. “This does not feel like the seashore I know. This seems…different.”, he spoke to himself as he let the waves brush against his trousers. It was some time before he realised that he had forgotten to take off his shoes and had effectively, messed them up. “Let it be, I needed a new pair anyway, good riddance!” was how he consoled himself.

After he had made a couple of rounds from one end of the beach to another, the shoes started growing heavier in his hands. Putting them on was out of the question as it would mean feet polished to a sore red by the sand. Reminding himself to wear floaters the next time, he decided to make a final detour to his favourite end of the beach. It was the end where the sun used to shine the brightest in the day, and the mellowest in the evening. The longer stay of the sunshine did mean extra crowds, but today that was not the case, and he felt happy about it. On a day where he needed some “me time”, this was a more than welcome occurrence.

As he slowed down for the final lap, some distance away from him, he noticed her sitting alone on the sands. She sat a bit away from the waves, far enough to keep her dry, yet close enough to feel their splash. He would have dismissed her as yet another sea-lover or lost soul if something had not caught his attention. Her eyes had something bewitchingly different about them. In his lifetime, he had seen (and gazed into) a fair share of eyes – some of them deep and inviting, some others cunning and shifty, and yet others lively and innocent. Hers were something else altogether, though he could not really tell what it was about them that had him hooked. To get a closer look, he sat a few feet away and gazed at her, pretending all the while to look around the beach. Her eyes not only reflected the liquid brightness of the setting sun, but also seemed to shine with an intensity usually found in someone who had their entire life planned and were raring to go get it. At the same time, they had a certain far away, lost quality which mellowed the intensity and made her look more inviting than intimidating. “Awesome sunset today, no? I just love it.” – he spoke out loudly to no one in particular, hoping that she will hear it and respond. She noticed, but didn’t say anything, but simply smiled at him and nodded in approval.

“I have not seen you much around here. Do you come here regularly?” – he tried to keep the conversation going. “No, I do come here regularly. You have noticed me for the first time though, haven’t you?”, she said with a slight smile. “Umm…yes. I wonder how I missed out all this while?” was all he could muster.
“Oh, it happens. We do not notice something until the time is really right. Anyway, you enjoy the sunset, I have to go.” Saying so, she stood up and turned away.
“What if I don’t want you to go?” – he blurted out without knowing how or where those words came from. The moment he said that, he wished time had an Undo option. Unfortunately, it did not, and all he could do was look at her and see how she reacted.

“Do you really want me to stay?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Sure?”
“Yes”

It felt like a entire age had passed by while they looked at each other – he in anticipation, she in what seemed to be trepidation.

“Okay! Chalo…”, saying so, she stretched out her hand.

As they walked along the beach, hand in hand, the waves brushing his feet felt cooler, the orange along the horizon, warmer.

Geet gaata hoon main…

10 Thursday Jul 2014

Posted by in Happiness, Hope, Life, Love, Optimism, Sharing

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“Bhaag jaate hai log…” would be an appropriate continuation of the title when it comes to me. 😛 That is how enthusiastic (read: bad voice coupled with strong desire to sing) I am when it comes to singing. Jokes apart, breaking out into song (even if it is just humming) is something that I frequently do – more so when I am travelling and listening to music. Singing along becomes almost involuntary reflex at times like these. 🙂

However, what I am writing about today is not the singing that I do for myself, but the one that I do for others. More accurately, the songs that I sing for people whom I adore/like/love/cherish. These are the people who I know will not run away when I demonstrate my vocal talent (even if they want to). 😀 These people (and hence, the songs) are special to me. They are close to my heart and every single one of them means something to me. I am now going to talk about one such song. No, I won’t name the person. Once this post is published, that person will know. 🙂

You might think that I will be talking about a song that has a romantic memory associated with it. In that case, your guess is wrong. The song that comes immediately to my mind is one that I sing for a person (let us call the person “JG”) who is close to my heart. I have only known JG for less than 2 years now, but it already feels like forever. Oh..the song…yes…the song is “Aa chal ke tujhe main leke chalu” from the movie “Door Gagan ki Chaanv Mein”. You can listen to the song here, while I speak about why this song is special to me.

To me, this song speaks not just of love, but also of hope, optimism and above all, the kind of bond that can only exist between two souls who truly understand each other. The bond need not carry a label, for all that matters is how strong it is. The lyrics describe a world where everything is ideal and beautiful, much like John Lennon’s “Imagine”. If anyone ever sung this song for someone, you immediately know that they are wishing the best possible world for that someone, free from all the worries and troubles that this world subjects them to. A utopia of sorts, where one can just be themselves and not have to worry about getting scarred by reality. As one would imagine, this also implies a desire to protect one’s loved ones from anything that affects them negatively.

It is easy to dismiss this song as idealistic (unrealistic, even) but one cannot deny that it invariably brings a smile to your face when you hear it. It is this child-like joy and hope that we need to see us through the day and make life a tad bit easier to bear. And if it can help us smile again and look forward to the next day with renewed hope, why not? 🙂 Last but not the least, Kishore Kumar has taken this song to an entirely different level (as only he could have) without any vocal acrobatics. This is something that just takes you over and leaves you smiling – plain and simple. 🙂

I will keep writing about many such songs. For now though, I will leave you with my most favourite lines from this song: 🙂

Suraj ki pehli kiran se, aasha ka savera jaage,
Chandaa ki kiran se dhul kar, ghanghor andheraa bhaage,
Kabhi dhoop khile, kabhi chhaanv mile, lambi si dagar naa khale,
Jahan gam bhi na ho, aansu bhi na ho, bas pyaar hi pyaar pale..

Pearls of “Wisdom”

10 Monday Mar 2014

Posted by in Happiness, Hope, Life, Love, Musings, Optimism

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Before reading further, please look at the title of this post again. The word “wisdom” is enclosed in quotes, which means that whatever follows may not be wisdom according to you. You may partially or totally disagree with it, which is perfectly fine. This is a list of things I have learnt from life (or in some cases, life has taught me). If reading and following even one of these help you get out of a mess (or to not get into it) then the purpose of writing this has been fulfilled. If not, I don’t mind being at the receiving end of brickbats. 🙂

  1. Do not discriminate. It really couldn’t be put more simply. Just because someone is different from you in some aspect, it does not mean that you get the right to look down at them, or even consider them an aberration. It is about time that we moved away from using parameters like birth, religion, economic status etc. to decide what we should think of someone. This will only lead us to judge them (unfairly so, in many cases) which brings me to the next point.
  2. Do not judge. I know how tempting it is to put labels on people and be done with it. After all, it saves us mental effort and time which is needed to really know them. But then, pause for a moment and consider this – we wouldn’t like anyone to form an opinion about us based on what they think and not what we actually are. So why the hell should we do the same to others? Agreed that we may not have the time and energy to know someone before forming an opinion about them, but I feel it is perfectly okay to NOT have an opinion about something than to hastily form an opinion and stick to it. Try it sometime, it will do more good than harm to you, as well as those around you.
  3. Love. Yes – just a single word, which should tell you that I mean to use it as a verb than as a noun. Fall in love, fall out of love if circumstances force you to, but never run away from love. The more you run away from it, the more you are denying yourself a chance to feel “alive”. And yes, this does not include only romantic love, but platonic love as well. And while we are at it, loving someone does not only mean the desire to be with them, it also means the readiness to do whatever it takes to be with them.
  4. Invest your emotions. Anyone can invest money and/or time into something, it takes courage to invest your emotions into something or someone. Because them, you are rendering yourself vulnerable. No matter what anyone tells you, vulnerability is the greatest indicator of strength, because to me it shows that you are not afraid of exposing your innermost core to the vagaries of the world.
  5. Disinvest your emotions. This is exactly contrary to what I said above, and equally important. Just like monetary investments, emotional investments can go kaput many a times. Know when to stop investing, cut your losses, and move away. People may choose to leave you despite whatever you do to hold them back. In such cases, don’t hold them back, hold the door for them to leave, and make sure you close it tight.
  6. Believe in second chances. At times, someone whom you have shut out of your life may come back, and you may be tempted to have them back. To be honest, there are no dos and don’ts here. It is okay to give them a second chance to put right what they wronged the first time round. Go with what your instincts tell you. However, if they screw you up yet again, there shouldn’t be a third chance.
  7. Cherish those who matter. Even if someone is not a part of your life in the way you want them to be (read: if you have been “friend-zoned” or if the love of your life is the better part of someone else’s life) they still are the same person whom you loved. That they couldn’t play your desired role in your life, doesn’t mean they have no role in your life at all. Loving them was a choice you made, and if it was based on the condition that they be with you, it wasn’t really love at all. Be there for them (if and) when they need you. Of course, make sure that you are at peace with the situation first, or else you will only end up making a mess of yourself.
  8. Listen to advice, consider it, and then, throw it away. Just because anyone (that includes me) gives you advice, doesn’t mean that you are obliged to follow it. Whatever I say comes from my own beliefs and experiences, and you do not have to take it verbatim. Understand what someone is trying to say when they tell you something. See if you agree with it and then act accordingly. No one walks your path, and you don’t have to follow their map.

I realised that some of these points could be posts in themselves, but for now, I will stop here. This is enough food for thought for now. Till next time, adios! 🙂

Salty icecream, sweet sunshine

28 Tuesday May 2013

Posted by in Hope, Life, Looking back, Love

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Walking hand-in-hand, he felt a slight tug of her hand on his. Turning back, he looked into her eyes – only to see what he had been dreading since that morning. A look of resignation, tinged with fear and laced with uncertainty. “What happened?”, he asked, not really expecting an answer. She continued to look at him, almost urging him to not say anything.

“Lets sit down here for a minute. Is that okay?”, he said – pointing to a bench nearby. “Do you really think everything is okay, Bugs?” was her hesitant reply. “I know its not, but I don’t want you to get affected by it.”. She said nothing and just sat on the bench as if someone had laden a million burdens on her shoulders. He settled down next to her and just held her hands, silently, reassuringly.

For a few minutes, the only sound one could hear was of the traffic passing them by, while both just looked at each other – speaking nothing, saying a lot. When the silence got unbearable, she blurted out – “I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to do this anymore!!”. The suddenness of what she said took no time to hit him, yet it was a few seconds before the impact of it truly hit him. And when it did, tears welled up in his eyes. However, this is not the time for them to show up, he thought to himself as he pushed them back with sheer effort.

“I know why you said that first sentence, but I don’t believe you when you say that second one. I know very well that you do want to do this.”

“This is what scares me really. Why do you know me so well that I can’t even bloody lie to you? At least then you would be hurt less than now“

“There is nothing like more or less when it comes to pain, Bunny. And who says that you are hurting me? The situation that we are in is screwing us..fine..agreed…but we will overcome this, I am damn sure.”

“How the hell can you be so confident that it will work out? I don’t see it happening.”

“Even I don’t see it happening – we will have to make it happen. And no matter how optimistic I am, I cannot do this without you. We cannot do this without each other.”

He reached out to her and held her face in his palms, tenderly kissing her forehead. “Don’t do that. You are making it more difficult for me.”, she said.

“Really, if that is the case, why are you still holding on to my arm? Why are you not letting me go?”.

“Coz I don’t want to…I don’t want to.”

“So now you know how I am feeling…right? And you felt you could walk away just like that out of my life?”

“I was hoping I could, but I know I am wrong. I am so selfish. I can’t assure you of anything, yet I want to hold on to you.”

“You’re not selfish re…its just that life is really testing us. Do you remember about how we talked that day about having a house on the beach in our old age?”

“Hmmm…”

“We may or may not end up in that house, but does that mean we don’t even try?”

“We must try re, but I am not sure whether we will succeed”

“Neither am I…but then that is the beauty of it. If we succeed, we enjoy the destination. If we don’t, we have at least enjoyed the journey.”

“How can you be so calm? I just don’t understand that.”

“Well…firstly you don’t understand many things. Secondly, who is calm? Idhar mera band baj raha hai. Baahar se nahi dikhta to kya hua?”, he said, tapping her head lightly.

As she broke into a slight smile, he pulled her cheeks and said..”Do you like salty icecream?”

“Salty icecream??? Kuchh bhi!!!”

“Haan of course!! Itna rona dhona kar diya…icecream khaaogi to wo bhi salty ho jaayegi dekhna..”

“Nahi hogi…meethi hi hogi…tum hi dekhna. Aur haan…I am gonna eat up your coffee walnut icecream too.”

“Arey then what I am supposed to do?”

“You? You are supposed to pay for the icecream, watch me while I eat it and yes, then you are supposed to drop me home. Chalo..kaam pe lago..bahut kaam hai tumhaare liye!!”

As a bright smile returned to her lips and her eyes sparkled with a new-found happiness, they walked towards the ice-cream counter. The future was still uncertain, but love had  lived on, to witness one more day of sunshine.

Do sikke

01 Wednesday May 2013

Posted by in Happiness, Hope, Life, Looking back, Love

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“Here, keep this with you”, he said, handing a coin to her.
“Whats that? Oh, a 10 rupee coin!! Where did you get one of those?”
“Actually, I got two of those. One for you and one for me.”
“I don’t think I deserve to get anything from you…not anymore!!”
“Why so?”
“…..”
“Just because things have not gone the way we wanted them to go, that doesn’t mean I can’t do anything for you…right?”.
“……” All she could do was hold on to his arm and rest on his shoulder, like a child holding on to a parent.

His fingers intertwined with hers, partly as a matter of habit, mostly as a gesture of assurance. “You don’t have to say anything…not now, not ever.”
“This isn’t fair to you…”
“Sometimes life isn’t fair…not fair at all. I gotta take what comes my way.”

Clasping the coin in her palm, he faintly kissed her fingers and said “Keep this one with you…and I will keep one with me”.
“Is this meant to be a forever-together promise? What happened to that ‘we will always be under the same moon’ dialogue of yours?”
“That was when we believed that we would always be together. Things didn’t quite turn out that way na?”
“…..”
“There will be a time when my being there, if only in your memories, will hurt you. That is something I just can’t allow to happen. If I ask you to look at the moon and remember me, the moon is never going to go away, and neither is the pain. This coin can be used and let go on its way forward.”
“And what about you? Are you gonna let your coin go, too?”
“………”

This was one question he had no answer to. He could only look in her eyes – speaking nothing, saying a lot. “I think I should leave now…“, said she as she held on to his fingers for one last time and stepped back.

Both the coins stayed tightly clasped in their palms, waiting to be let go on their way forward.

Does love happen only once?

15 Monday Apr 2013

Posted by in Life, Looking back, Love, Musings

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So…quite a difficult question in the title up there, right? And supposedly, one with no simple answer, right? Well…no and yes respectively, if you ask me. The question is really simple, the answer not quite so. Does Cupid behave like lightning and refuse to strike at the same place twice? Or does he believe in second chances? Like all good questions, this one too doesn’t have a definitive answer, and I only have my experiences and observations (not to mention, beliefs) to fall back on.

Let me keep things simple here. If you ask me if love can happen twice, my answer would be a resounding YES. No round about answers there, just a simple, uncomplicated yes. Okay, so if someone falls in love the second time, doesn’t that mean that s/he wasn’t really in love the first time round? Or even worse, isn’t s/he just a fickle-minded person who jumps from one romantic interest to another with little hesitation? Since I have been asked (and answered) these questions many times before (this doesn’t imply that I have been in that situation many times :P), here is what I always say to these questions.

Firstly, we need to stop treating love like a non-renewable energy resource, which cannot be replenished once depleted. The way I see it, love is more of a verb than a noun, a promise than a feeling. Loving someone is not (just) something that happens instinctively, its a conscious promise that you make to yourself and that person. Of course, you may or may not be able to fulfill that promise depending on the circumstances, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that it is basically something you do, and not something that happens to you out of the blue. And by that definition, you can indeed commit yourself to another person, though obviously not at the same time – that would just make you a desperado in my books ;).

Consider this – why do we think that we will not be able to love someone else? or for that matter, no one is able to love more than once? Why do we feel that the so-called “true love” happens only once? I feel it is because we carry around the remnants of the first love for too long with us. Agreed, it was wonderful to be in love with someone, and to have shared dreams of sharing the sunset of life with that person. But if circumstances have taken that person out of your life – it is indeed for a reason. It need not be anyone’s fault – it could simply be that despite of all that was, you two just weren’t meant to be. And if you keep carrying the burden of the past with you, you are neither going to enjoy the present, nor going to be able to create the future. To create a new dawn, you have to leave the old dusk behind. For the tree to flourish, the seed has to be buried. It might sound (and be) painful to do so, but if it has to be done, it has to be done. 🙂

On a lighter note, consider the mathematical proof (invented by yours truly) of how love can happen more than once. In fact, it can happen at least 300 times. Surprised? This is how it works: The world population is about 7 billion. For the sake of even figures, assume it to be 6 billion. Out of these 6 billion, let only 10% belong to your age group (the “eligible” candidates for a romantic interest). This comes to about 600 million. Considering that you are only interested in the opposite gender, this halves down to 300 million. Now, even assuming that your so-called “the one” is one in a million person, the best ever, and all that jazz, there are 300 people who fit this definition. So, even if you haven’t struck gold the first time, there are still 299 more arrows in your quiver. Now doesn’t THAT sound good? 😛

Well, mathematical proofs aside, one thing is irrefutable – love can indeed happen twice, provided you open your heart to it. Sinking its head in the sand did no good for the ostrich, and it won’t do any good for you either. So if you haven’t found your rainbow the first time round, don’t worry – there will still be many monsoons coming your way. 🙂

Back to life

08 Monday Apr 2013

Posted by in Happiness, Hope, Life, Looking back, Love

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The sudden whirring of the coffee machine right behind him jolted him back to his senses. Looking at the now empty glass of Devil’s Own in front of him, he signaled to the cafe attendant for a repeat order. While waiting for the coffee, he focused his gaze on the crowds outside the cafe.

Observing people was his favourite hobby, making stories out of those observations his passion. He remembered the time when they used to sit for hours on a corner seat and create stories out of the crowds passing by. From blossoming love stories to kids sulking because they were denied their treats, from huge groups of cheerful faces to loners enjoying their crowded solitude, their imagination had led them on endless flights of fantasy. Creating stories was something he always enjoyed, doing so with her was the proverbial icing on the cake. “Tum kahaaniyaan banaate nahi thakte na kabhi?” was her usual refrain. “Haan to kya karu? Tum saath hoti ho to mera imagination kuch zyaada hi daudne lagta hai. Sab tumhaari hi galti hai. :P” was his usual retort. All over the years, the refrain never changed, and neither did the retort. It was one of those things where change was pretty much unwelcome.

The loners (lone rangers, as she called them) were his favourite subject, because when there was not much to observe, there was much more to imagine. Never thought I would end up being one of the lone rangers, he smiled to himself. “Let me see if someone out there is observing me. Am I somebody’s lone ranger?” Sure enough, there were a few eyes drifting across him, taking care to stop just long enough to observe, but not long enough to stare.

It was a few months since they had seen each other for perhaps the last time, and he still remembered her eyes, fixed on him as she walked (no…dragged) away from  him, perhaps the most difficult steps she ever took. Endless moments had passed since then, and though he did not really like it, he had habituated himself to a life without her. The only thing that he had not mustered enough courage for, was to step into their favourite cafe. Doing something which was an “us thing”, all by himself, almost felt like sacrilege. But he knew, deep within, that he needed to do it.

Finishing the second cup of coffee, he paid the bill and walked out of not just the cafe, but also his past. A past, which was undoubtedly beautiful, but would look best only in the sunsets of memories, not the sunrises of the dreams. He walked back to life.

Love…actually!!

05 Tuesday Mar 2013

Posted by in Happiness, Life, Love, Musings

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After writing about the best love story I have ever seen, I am back with…yes, you guessed it right…yet another love story. Can’t help it – love is something about which I can write any time, anywhere and trust me, I can go on and on. 🙂

Contrary to what some would expect, this is not about my love story. This is about a love story which I only got to know about a few months back, and which has stayed with me ever since then. This is the story of Samarpita and Sankalp, who celebrate their fourth wedding anniversary today. This post is meant to be my little contribution to the celebrations. 🙂

I came across Samarpita (Sam) on Twitter a few months ago during the course of an afternoon of random handle-hopping. Like I normally do, I checked out her blog, and liked what I found. She writes (and thinks the same way too, as I discovered later) quite sensibly. Of course, she has her share of dramatic moments, but then that goes with the territory I guess. 😛 I haven’t interacted with Sankalp yet, but if he is anything like how she describes him, he has to be a pretty sorted out guy. Now this is one story I haven’t seen closely, so I will not be going into the details. What I will be focusing on instead, is how it makes me feel, and what it teaches me.

Firstly, and most importantly, it reinforces my belief that anything worth having in your life, is worth fighting for…to the very end. It might be one thing to expect things to fall in place just because you think you “deserve” to have that person in your life, but the fact remains that nothing good in life has ever come easy. We may crib about how life makes us work our backside off to get what we want, but do we ever pause and enjoy the awesome feeling when we end up with someone we want to be with? To put it simply, if you want to be with someone, be prepared to go the extra mile, and more, to be with them.

Just because two people love (and want to be with) each other, life isn’t going to say “Oh how sweet!! Here…let me hand you a pair of wedding bells. Enjoy your ride into the sunset”. It is going to make you work hard for it, make you prove that yours is not but a fleeting dream, it is a strong determination to have that person by your side. It might pull you apart in the process, but if you stick to your guns, it is definitely going to put you back together on that ride into the sunset, and throw in a nice orange hue over the horizon, on the house. 🙂

While you are on the way to your destination, there will be times when you will feel like giving up, and justifiably so. Things will seem so bleak that it would seem like a lesser evil to just give it all up, and fall in line with what you are supposed to do, and not what you really want to do. This is your moment of truth, and it will separate the “we did it” stories from the “we could have been” ones. Hang on to each other, to yourself, with all that you have. If it is meant to be, it will bloody well be. 🙂

We are used to being a certain person, behaving in a certain manner all our lives, and obviously find nothing wrong with it. However, there will be times when you feel that you being yourself is not working in favour of the relationship. This will be one of the biggest questions you will have ever faced – whether to change yourself for the sake of someone, or to stick to your “individuality”. There are many ways of looking at it, but all I will say is this. If making some changes to who/what you are makes life easier for both of you, and makes the other person feel valued, go for it by all means. There will still be people who will tell you not to change at all and that the other person should be able to accept you just the way you are. Let them live in their utopia – you are the one trying to make a real life here. 🙂

So…finally all went well, and the bells chimed for you. Yay!! Now to settle down into holy matrimony, and enjoy life forever after…right? You couldn’t be more wrong. There is a reason why all those movies end with the couple getting married, and it is this – would you really pay to watch the heroine adjust with her new family, or the hero get up and go to office, wondering how the girl he loved has transformed into the woman he has married? 😀 Movies are about suspension of disbelief, life is about real belief. As simple as that. Most of the times, marriage is just the beginning of a greater story, one that is going to be written over a lifetime. Just like you enjoyed the prologue, enjoy the main act. It will seem like survival at times, but get this one thing clear – If, every morning, you are getting up next to the person you want to, you are extremely privileged. Be grateful for that, and do whatever you can to deserve that privilege.

Like I said before, I can go on and on about this, but then, this is not about me. This is about you, S and S. 🙂 And I will say this, your story not only inspires me, it gives me hope. A hope that life is surely going to smile for me some day, and I will be there, beaming right back at it. 🙂

No..I haven’t forgotten what this post is basically about..hehe. Wish both of you an awesome fourth anniversary, and may there be at least 40 more. Of course, more the merrier!! 😀 What say?

Ek chhoti si love story

17 Sunday Feb 2013

Posted by in Happiness, Life, Love, Musings

≈ 8 Comments

Valentine’s day was celebrated a couple (pun intended) of days back, with a lot of fervour. Lots of people (read: the committed ones) were all awash in red, while many others (read: singles/cynics) saw red. Me? I was enjoying myself, watching both these types. And yes, writing this post. So, why am I publishing this 3 days after V-Day? Simply because I did not want to get it to get lost in all that red. 😉

Since this was written on V-day, it is obvious that it is going to be about love. However, this is not going to be about love per se, I am simply going to tell you about the best love story I have ever seen – that of my parents. 🙂

Almost 35 years...and still going strong!

Like all good love stories, this one too goes a really long way back. Both of my grandfathers were with the Imperial Police (post-1947, the Mumbai police). Both families were neighbours in the Police Lanes at Byculla (we are talking about the 1960s here) and it so happens that rice, sugar or pulses weren’t the only things that were exchanged between them. 😀 This was where love blossomed between the two. True to form, like most love stories, it wasn’t smooth sailing all the way. My maternal grandpa didn’t quite approve of the pairing and put his foot down, saying “no can do”. It was then that mom/dad did something which wasn’t quite so common in those days – they went for a court marriage. Yes, 2 witnesses from either side, garlands exchanged in the Registrar’s office, typical poses for the camera, and all that jazz. 😛

Well, the story didn’t end there. In fact, this was the real beginning, of a life-long story. One in which there were obstacles, ups and downs, sunshine and clouds, but most importantly, trust and faith. In all the years that I have been seeing my parents spend their lives with each other, one thing has always struck me – though theirs is a love marriage, they are not the typical “in love” couple. I cannot remember a day when dad bought a flower for mom or when mom sung a song for dad. In fact, the last time dad bought a flower home for mom, it was because he had got it at a wedding reception and did not want to waste it by throwing it away. 😛

So what is it that has really kept them together? There are many factors that make this happen, but the biggest one is the simplest. They want to be with each other – as simple as that. 🙂

For all their differences of opinion, and their small (and sometimes not-so-small) arguments about how something should be done, they have always been one person to the world. No matter how or what they think about something, once they have (together) taken a decision on it, it is well nigh impossible to get them to contradict each other on that. If you love someone, you stand for them, come what may – this is something I have seen happening throughout my life. I didn’t have to read quotes or watch any cute videos to know that – I have experienced it at close quarters. Of course, this did create some problems for me as a kid. I would hate it when I wanted something and went to mom to ask for it. Her reply would be “I don’t think you need that now.” and then I used to go to dad and pester him. His only question would be “What did mom say?” and on hearing the answer, he would smile and say “Well, its not happening then, son!” I used to be super grumpy then but today I realise how it has helped me a lot, by teaching me to wait for what I want, and more importantly, deserving something before wanting it.

Another very important thing that I learnt from my parents is how to always care for the one you love. It is OK if you may not like all that they do, but at the end of the day, you value the person as a whole, and not the bits and pieces that make them. Till date, regardless of what has happened during the day, I have never seen mom let dad go to sleep without ensuring he has drank milk and neither have I seen dad hit the bed without applying cream to mom’s knees (she has a knee problem). To me, THAT is true love – no matter what all the books/movies/songs in the world tell me.

And then, people ask me why I am such a firm believer in love? Silly question, isn’t it? 🙂