Tag Archives: goals

Don’t hunch

19 Wednesday Feb 2014

Posted by in Hope, Life, Musings, Optimism

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Spiderman happens to be one of my favourite movies. This is not a case of typical superhero worship, but because the ‘superhero” here is not really a “superhero”. He is more a product of the circumstances that surround him, albeit extraordinary ones. But before I digress, this blog is not about Spiderman per se, this is about a line from the movie that I like a lot.

Now there are many memorable lines in this movie. Who doesn’t remember “With great power comes great responsibility” or for that matter “the one thing they love more than a hero…is to see a hero fail, fall, die trying.”? But my personal favourite remains from a small scene where Mary Jane Watson is talking to Peter outside her house. She says “You are taller than you look.”. Peter replies “I hunch” and she simply says “Don’t”. This, to me, captures a very important life lesson – don’t hunch.

One of the most common mistakes that many of us do while going through life is to underestimate ourselves or to think that we don’t have it in us to overcome certain challenges/situations. I have been particularly guilty of this, especially in my younger days when I was more introverted than a hibernating frog. We always have something or the other which acts as a limiting factor for our aspirations. “I don’t know how I will manage to lose weight”, “I wish I had the confidence to ask that girl out”, “I wish I could stand up to that bully” are all situations many of us have gone through without bothering to stand up for ourselves. We don’t really push ourselves to take that step towards fulfilling our wishes or realizing certain dreams. We always console ourselves saying that these things are “easier said than done”. However, we forget that while these things are indeed “easier said than done”, they are also “worthier done than lost”. We get so trapped in the fear (or lethargy) of our (mostly) self-imagined limitations that we never really try and enjoy the sweet pain of breaking those chains. Yes, like any chains, the breaking of these need lots of effort, which can be (very) painful. Yet, I can safely say that none of us will really complain about the pain if we were to enjoy the fruits of freedom once we have broken them.

There can be many ways to break free of our self-imposed limitations. The level of effort required will vary from person to person, depending on their own unique qualities and their circumstances. One thing remains constant though – we cannot break free until we stop underestimating ourselves. It is so easy to tell ourselves that we cannot achieve what our heart wants, so much so that many prefer living with regret of not having tried than risking failure. When I was growing up, I never thought I had it in me to ask out a girl if I liked her. Today when I look back, I realise how silly I was to not take the chances that I had. Of course there was no guarantee that these would have blossomed into something more significant, but my not acting on them only ensured that they would never blossom further. The only reason this happened was because I believed deeply that I didn’t have what would make any girl like/love me. Hence I preferred to keep my mouth shut rather than open it and make a spectacle of myself. Today, I know I was quite wrong. The plain fact is that underestimating myself has cost me a lot in life in terms of missed opportunities and chances at glory. The day I realised this was the day I truly stopped saying “I cannot do this” to any situation/challenge. Till date, this remains the best decision I ever made.

There is no mathematical formula or even any well-tested procedure to stop underestimating yourself. However, I can say this from my own experience – the day you start saying “I deserve better” is the day you stop underestimating yourself. Of course, there still remains a lot be done to reach your goals, but you have already taken the biggest step of your journey. And trust me on this, no matter who you are or where life has placed you, you always deserve better if you are willing to work towards it.

There is a lot I can say about this, but I know I would sound like a broken record, so I will only say this (at the risk of sounding like a broken record) – don’t hunch. 🙂

Turning the pages

02 Friday Aug 2013

Posted by in Dreams, Happiness, Life, Musings, Optimism

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This is the first time EVER that I am writing a post on a topic suggested by someone else. The simple reason being that I wanted to see how well I did when I water a seed that someone else planted in my mind. This idea is courtesy Meenu who asked me to write a post about the book that I have liked/loved most and I said…why not? Let us see what we can come up with. So, in a way, this post is dedicated to her.

So, which book am I going to talk about today? I will be honest – it wasn’t an easy choice at all. Though I have never claimed to be a “voracious reader” and I work in an industry where paper is treated as an untouchable commodity, I am responsible for a fair amount of trees being cut down. Out of all the books I have read so far, each one (with a few exceptions) has been an enjoyable journey. Intriguing at times, engrossing at others. So, picking out one was easier said than done. That being said, I decided to go by gut feel. I just laid back, closed my eyes, and the very first image that flashed in my mind was the story of Santiago, a shepherd boy in search of his dream.

As many of you might have guessed by now, I am talking about The Alchemist, one of Paulo Coelho’s all-time classics. I will not go into the details of the plot of the book. You can always refer to Wikipedia for that. Neither am I going to come up with a review of the book, as I believe that a book is something to be felt, to be experienced, and not to be evaluated or reviewed. I am simply going to tell you about the impression that this tale made on me, and how it has helped me in my life. Yes, you read that right. This is one book whose theme I have been able to apply practically in my day-to-day life. 🙂

Thanks to SRK and Om Shanti Om, almost everyone is aware of the key theme of the book. “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it” is what the alchemist tells Santiago. To a large extent, this is something we all would like to believe in, and why not? Who wouldn’t want to desire something and have things fall in place auto-magically? Seems too good to be true, and it indeed is. This is something which I have found that many of us miss out on. In the ecstasy of imagining our dreams come true just like that, we forget about one more thing that Santiago was told. And I will admit – I didn’t catch it the first time either. It was only when I actually tried applying the principle in real life that I encountered it. Curious? Read on.

“Those who don’t understand their Personal Legends will fail to comprehend its teachings” is what the alchemist says to Santiago, adding that when we are young, we all know what our “Personal Legend” is. Admittedly, this sounds like high-brow management speak, until you realise it is nothing else but the basic purpose of your life – the role that you are supposed to play on this big stage. As I understand it, it is all about really focusing on what you want to achieve in life, what you want to be remembered as after you have made your exit, and then fearlessly working your way towards it. It is only after you have set foot on this journey that things start falling in place for you. If you expect to sit on your ass and expect things to fall on your lap, remember that even a beggar sitting outside the temple doesn’t enjoy that luxury. He has to reach out to people and tug at their heart strings to make them loosen their purse strings.

Coming back to myself, this book has always been a great source of inspiration to me. Whenever I feel down and out (yes people, I do feel like that at times) I simply pick it up, flip to a random page and start reading. Invariably, I find that calm is restored within some time. Two of the most important lessons that this book has taught me are – “follow your dreams” and “life listens to what you say/do and rewards you accordingly”. The first one is pretty obvious to understand and equally difficult to follow to the fullest. Fortunately, I have always been blessed with opportunities (and people) around me who have been supportive of my efforts to make my life the way I want it to be. Of course, there have been detractors too, a fair share of them. But for me, they have proved to be more of a motivator. If there is something I really love doing, it is having people tell me that I cannot do something and then proving them wrong. 😉

The second one is a bit tricky. At first, I had thought that it was all about life paying you back for your good/bad deeds, or what is popularly known as karma. Then, I realised that it was not just karma, it was also about how we accept what life bestows on us. Whatever life puts in our hands, we have to accept it with equanimity. If it gives you something which makes you happy, smile, be grateful to it and thank it. If it gives you something that makes you sad, smile, say “no worries, I hope I get a better deal next time round” and move ahead towards your dream. Trust me, life WILL pay you back what it owes you. 🙂 In my experience so far, I have found it to be the most balanced credit-debit sheet EVER. One thing that I have learnt (sometimes the hard way) is not to deny anything that life offers to you. If it offers you something that you feel you are not worthy of, you are WRONG. Life knows better. If you are getting something, it is because you deserve it, as simple as that. Don’t deny yourself the pleasure, cherish it. 🙂

This has been a long post so far, but a very satisfying one to write. Thanks Meenu, get your brain cells buzzing – if these are the kind of ideas you are going to come up with, I need more of them. 🙂

Never say never again…

16 Tuesday Mar 2010

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If you are expecting something related to a Bond movie after having a look at the title, let me tell you that you are in for some disappointment. Though the author of this post is just as deadly with his PJs as Bond is with his guns,  there is going to be no 007 here. Instead, this is going to be about how one should never use the word “never” (Ignore the irony that just occurred).

On a serious note, isn’t it amazing to observe how many of us are so good at putting ourselves into single-lane tracks like those blindfolded horses in a race? Blinding ourselves to the world outside what our limited thoughts can see comes ever so easily to us. Picture this –  you have your heart set on something very desirable, a gadget maybe, or a particular job offer or even a person whom you want to end up sharing sunsets with (Talking of sharing sunsets, something on that is coming soon, but I digress). Along comes something thats not quite what you had in mind, but which could be an interesting possibility. And whats our typical reaction? We are so fixated with what we have set our eyes on, that we don’t even pause to consider anything else. This is not to say that one should not be single-minded in pursuit of our goals, but at the same time, we should not miss the woods for the trees.

As you must have realised by now, what I am trying to say here is that one should be open to possibilities. As the Bible puts it so succinctly, only when a grain of wheat falls to the ground, will a harvest beckon. We, though, so tightly hold on to our grains that we deny ourselves the harvest that could have been. And more often that not, what stays with us is a “if-only” regret, which serves no purpose but to frustrate us further. One point that I must make here is that there is no difference between being open to possibilities and being steadfast about your goals. Though they seem to be contradictory, they are not. Being focussed on something does not mean that you cannot entertain other possibilities, it only means that you give them their due consideration, and reject them only after you have satisfied yourself that they are not worth it. It should not mean blind rejection of anything that does not seem to fit into your current perspective.

So how do you know whether you are doing it right? Like almost all things in life, the best judge is you. You are the only one who decides whats right for you – because its you who is going to reap the fruits (sweet or otherwise) of that decision in the end. All that I am saying here is – give every dog its fair share of the bone. Who knows – changing tracks might lead you on to the best journey you ever took.

On that note, I will sign off before I metamorphose into a white-robed priest delivering a Sunday sermon..hehe. 😀

Till next time, keep reading!!