How so calm?

“How do you always seem so calm?” was what someone asked me a while ago. I could only reply that the answer was in the question itself. I usually “seem calm”. I may not necessarily “be calm” always. To paraphrase Dr. Banner/Hulk, “That’s my secret. I always appear calm.”. At the risk of sounding boastful, I can say that I’m a pro at (mostly) appearing calm even when I’m shitting bricks within. That comes from two factors – I can keep quiet for long periods of time with little or no expression on my face, which generally leads people to believe that I am at peace within. Secondly, in almost all areas of my life, I “expect things to go wrong”.

Those who know me will be surprised at the second statement. They would not expect an optimist to expect things to go wrong. Well, there is a reason why I put that phrase in quotes. When I say I expect things to go wrong, I do not mean that I worry that they will go wrong. It only means that I believe in preparing myself for a scenario where they will go wrong. Once I have done that analysis and prepared myself for a recovery (in case things do go wrong), I sit back and focus on the present again. That way, I only need to worry about the present and things that actually go kaput, and not make a nervous wreck of myself over an imagined doomsday.

So, does this principles apply to all areas of my life? Definitely. From money to people, and everything in between, I imagine what could go wrong, prepare myself for it, and then stop worrying about what could happen it things go south. If there is an important person in my life (including my parents), you can be sure I have imagined a scenario where they are no longer around (for whatever reason) and kind of toughened myself to face that situation. It is never a pleasant thing to do, given the kind of person I am, especially with people who matter to me, but it is infinitely better than losing sleep and peace of mind every night. Like I was telling my best friend today “Everyone suffers because of what happens. Why suffer over something that hasn’t even happened yet?”.

Of course, this is not something that I have been doing for a really long time. It is only in the last 5-6 years that I have learnt to do this. Like with all new ways of life, adopting it has not been easy. It has been painful at times, traumatic even. Merely accepting the fact/scenario that someone you have invested so much into (emotionally or practically) will just not be around one fine day can move you to tears, and I am not immune to that. I get shaken by that from time to time. I still do it, only because I don’t want to be uprooted if/when it actually happens. I know it will affect me, but I don’t want it to turn me inside out. What does help me is that I work in an industry where we have to expect things to go wrong and plan accordingly. That helps me get into the right mindset better than any motivational speech or book would.

By now, if you are thinking that all this preparation helps to insulate me and stay unaffected when things actually get messed up, you couldn’t be more wrong. Things have gone wrong in various areas from time to time, and I have shed more than a few tears. The reason why most of those around don’t know about it because the instances were few and far between. Also, I recovered from the impact rapidly. Things will go wrong in the future, and I will get affected, but I know that I will be in a better shape and rebound quickly as times go by.

Last but not the least – shit will keep happening. It is up to us how long we let it stink. ūüôā


Dark Chocolate

Not for you the infusion of pretended sweetness to be acceptable, you are unapologetic, dark even. You are an acquired taste, appreciated more by the connoisseurs of life than by those who get easily dazzled or deterred by what they see. Not for you the chains of perception, you seek to stay close to what you were at inception.

Honest, intense, dark, happy, ecstatic, gloomy, intriguing – that’s what you are, in every living moment. Not for you the percentage-based calculations of what will get you that which you seek, you want to be valued for what you are at the core and what you do on the out.

Just like a piece of dark chocolate rests on the tongue and takes its own sweet (pun unintended) time to reach the heart, knowing you takes time and effort, and love. And just like that dark piece of heaven, you never truly leave the heart once you have touched it and made it your own. Not for you the instant dissolution and the immediate fading away, you are here to stay.

Dark chocolate is what you feel like, my dear. Dark chocolate is what you are, my love.

Don’t you feel lonely at times?

After a long time, I come back to the keyboard Рnot for punching out code or laying out project schedules, but for speaking about what goes on in my mind. What brings me here is the title of this post. This was a question put to me by a friend, who asked me to ponder over it. And ponder, I did. What follows is the result of that pondering.

There is no easy answer to this. So I will start with a “one word answer” and¬†then try to explain it further. If you find me jumping from one topic to another, please blame my rusty brain¬†(or lack of it, if you so feel). ūüėÄ Coming to the point, to answer this in one word – yes. I do feel lonely. Sometimes I feel lonely at times when one is expected to feel lonely, sometimes I feel so at times when one is not. I have not deeply observed when (and why) I feel lonely though, because it makes the blues even darker. Instead, I just lie back and let the feeling pass. Thankfully, I have been blessed with¬†an unrelenting optimism that has helped me the clear out the blues soon enough.

Funnily, I feel more lonely in a crowd than when I am alone. And it is not just because of a ‚Äúeveryone has someone to be with, and I am all alone‚ÄĚ feeling. There can be many reasons why this happens (and I admit I don’t know most of those). It is just that I feel it would have been great to not ‚Äúfeel‚ÄĚ lonely. Contrary to what one might be thinking by now, my feeling lonely has got little to do with my being alone. Do I feel lonely because of the lack of a partner or because I don‚Äôt have enough to keep myself (read: my overactive brain)¬†occupied? No. Sometimes, I do, but mostly, I don‚Äôt. Mostly, it is a feeling whose reason and origin are something I have not yet figured out fully. Someday, I hope to.

Also, I believe that no matter how many people you have in your life, you are bound to feel lonely at times. I have read articles saying how having more people in your life means increased chances of loneliness (the logic being that you form less number of deeper relations and more number of shallow ones). Though there is some relevance in  that statement, it is not completely true. I do believe though that having people (who really matter to you) around helps you feel less lonely. People also say that we usually feel more lonely as we grow older. I don’t think so. I feel less lonely today than I felt a decade ago, and the circumstances today are not vastly different than those back then.

I must also say that I have not yet fully figured out the solution to feeling lonely (since I have not figured out the origin first). It might be a person, it might be a purpose or a goal in life.¬†It would be fun (or chaos) if it was both. ūüėÄ Over the past couple of years, I have moved from the “seeking a person/companion” approach to fight loneliness to the “finding a purpose, and letting life take care of the person thing”¬†approach. Will I ever be able to find the answer to this question that has puzzled me for long? I do not know yet, but I remain hopeful.¬†Like always, I believe in hoping for the best (the eternal optimist that I am) and being prepared for the worst (something which life has taught me).

In summation, one thing is fairly clear. Whether I manage to not feel lonely or it keeps visiting me every now and then, it is going to be a fun ride on the roller coaster of the mind. And I know that the crests will be followed by the troughs. I will try to make sure that the crests make me more happy than than the troughs make me sad. That gives me another mind worm Рabout the reach to the final destination. But that will have to wait for another post.

P.S.: If your brain is topsy-turvy after reading this, I really do not blame you. It is not easy even for me to figure myself out. You stand little chance. ūüėõ


The seed of this post was sowed when a friend¬†asked me to write something random on a piece of paper so that she could analyse my handwriting. The first couple of paragraphs are from what I wrote then. Now, whenever someone tells me to write about anything at random, the first thing that comes to my mind is what people call by various names like relationships, friendships etc. I prefer to call them “human connections” because that’s what they really are. Depending on the situation/setup in which these connections are formed, we formalise them using various names.¬†In the end though, it is just one human connecting (or in some cases, not) to another.

Humans are incredibly complex creatures (yes, even those who look monotonous and boring on the surface) with innumerable facets to them. I believe that when two individuals connect, these facets resonate or conflict with each other. This leads to people getting attracted to (not necessarily in the romantic sense) or repelled by each other. What follows is a complex (and hence interesting) mix of emotions (consciously or subconsciously), which then lead to actions and reactions, sparks (or lack or them). Having grown up as an introvert and having spent the better part of my life in the background in any social gathering, I have always loved reading people like one would read books. Hence, seeing two people interact is like reading two books at the same time, with the story of one affecting, and quite possibly changing that of the other. For a people-reader, that is nothing less than watching a journey where the path changes as the travellers walk it. This makes it really fascinating. What makes it even more fascinating (and more intensely affecting) is when you are not just the observer, but also one of the travellers.

When you switch from being an observer to being a traveller, or as in my case, being both, it becomes more fun, or troublesome, depending on how it goes. In either case, it does teach you a lot, no matter how it goes. All you really need to do is to keep your mind and heart open. Yes, you do also need to keep your eyes open, as I have learnt over the years. As I mentioned above, I was largely an introvert growing up, someone you can call a “late bloomer”. So ever since¬†I “bloomed” (no innuendo intended), I have been compensating for both the lack of talking (much to the chagrin of those around me) and not having too many social contacts by wanting more people as a part of my life in various respects, as friends, colleagues or even just acquaintances. Out of these, friends are the ones¬†I hold closest because of three reasons. Firstly, they are connections one generally makes consciously as a choice, as opposed to relatives where you have no choice or acquaintances whom you keep at a safe, socially acceptable distance. Secondly, when they happen without you knowing how, they are¬†even more wonderful. Lastly, they are the ones whose actions¬†affect you the most, whether it is making you happy, sad, crazy or plain¬†frustrated (when they are being asses).

Due to this, maintaining my friendships became a big priority for me, and it still is. For this, I had to transform myself from the introvert that I was to an ambivert (I don’t think I have become an extrovert yet) that I am today. This¬†has also helped me greatly, in the sense that I have become a lot less judgemental than I was a couple of decades ago, and a lot more accepting of people when they messed up or did something I didn’t like. This was also because I understood that no matter how good people are, they will invariably make mistakes, and should not be blacklisted¬†because of them. Unfortunately, this also meant that some people in my life got¬†to be more of a priority than they deserved (as I eventually learned). I knew that not everyone in your life can/should be a priority, especially when making¬†them a¬†priority meant compromising on your interests/self-respect. But yes, I did give some people the benefit of doubt (paraphrasing Casablanca – “Do¬†it again Sam, for old times’ sake”), which they eventually exhausted.¬†So, slowly and steadily, I have started keeping them out of sight (and hence, out of mind). The funny thing here is that¬†I know that it’s the right thing to do. But with the kind of person I am, it’s not an easy thing to do. Especially when you have to do it because the connection you had with that person simply withered off because the other person did not invest much into it, or maybe even I didn’t do my part. In either case, it’s not a happy thing to happen for me. It does make me feel a bit sad.

But like most things in life, you live, you learn. Whatever happens, leaves you feeling sad, but eventually does turn out to be for the best. So, no regrets. Just because some connections died, I am not going to stop investing in new ones (except romantic ones – I’m not in the space for that right now, but talking about that needs a separate post altogether). There might be a dark, gloomy night once in a while, but I am going to make sure that I face¬†the sun with a smile when the dawn arrives. ūüôā

P.S.: This post was intended only to empty my mind and not to make any sense. Really. So, please don’t try to find it. If you do find any, it is your lucky day. Go buy a lottery ticket, or pick up the phone and dial the number that you have been wanting to but shying away from. ūüôā


You are amazing. I know that “amazing” is a terribly generic and totally inadequate word to describe someone so unique, so real. In all that they are, in all that they feel, and in (almost) all that they do. I know that you are feeling tempted now to jump up, stop me right here and say that I’m wrong, mistaken, too kind or even crazy. But hold on, and read on.

I’m not saying that you are perfect. The plain fact is that you never were perfect, and you never will be. Ever. THAT is what makes you, for the lack of a better word, absobloodylutely awesome. If you were perfect, you’d be just a piece of machinery rolling off an assembly line, one among millions, made to a design which someone thought everyone should conform to. You’d be no more than a gadget, going through a life cycle from creation to disposal, based on someone else’s will. But you are not that, you’re imperfect. You’re made up of as many flaws and imperfections as you are of many adornments. That’s what makes you so real, so true and so you. I could quote a popular web series here and say “Tu beer hai b*******”, but the fact is, you are not beer. You are not beer, which excites, fizzles full of joy and then blows off to settle into a lame lager with time. You’re more like wine, which starts off as a mash of grapes, immature and commonplace, but over the years, matures into a rich, soothing mix of textures and flavours.

This is not to say that you have it all sorted out or are sailing through life. To use a cricketing analogy, life has dealt you a googly at times, a yorker at others and a sharp, nose-bleeding bouncer at yet others. You have been tricked, fallen down and hit by what you have faced. What matters though is that you have managed to go through all that, waited to catch your breath, wipe the sweat off your brow and the blood off your lips. And you have stood up back again to face the next ball that life throws at you. You’re still figuring out life in many areas, but I have no doubt you will do it some day. Maybe not immediately, maybe not at the pace you want, but you definitely will.

I know you wonder if you could have done better in the life that has passed you by. To be honest, you could have lived it differently, but then, you wouldn’t be you. You’re not a piece of coal which was born to burn away in a furnace, turn to ashes and blow away with the wind. You were meant to be subjected to immense pressure and heat and come out as a diamond. An uncut one, yes. A rough one, yes. But a diamond, an invaluable one nevertheless. Life is making you into a diamond and will continue to do so. Cut yourself into the shape that you want, the one you know you deserve. It will hurt, but it will also dazzle those who have taken you to be just another stone. Let them see the power of you! ūüôā

An old return. A new beginning.

Returning to writing after a long time has a charm, as well as¬†a risk of its own. On one hand, the longing to get back to the realm of words tugs at your soul. On the other, you tend to remember why you had stopped coming there and grow wistful. Be it sheer laziness to hit the keyboard for reasons other than bread and butter, or the fear of your words exposing the secrets you have painstakingly kept hidden from the world, it is always a tricky business – maintaining the balance between the urge to tell¬†and the desire to remain silent. Add to this the typical philosophical or “year in review” mode I usually find myself around this time of the year and there can either be drama or disaster – nothing in between.¬†That said, I hope my return here today will be a fruitful one.

One of the hazards of writing after a long time is to decide what to write about and what to leave unmentioned. Typically, I would write about the year gone by or something that impacted me deeply, or even the hottest topic of the day (whatever that happens to be). This time, however, I have¬†chosen to write about how the year gone by changed me (for good or for bad) and what I would like to see myself as in 2016. It is quite possible that this post will contain too much of “I, Me, Myself”. Please bear with me (or glide away in cyberspace, if you choose to) ūüôā

2015 was a year where “The more things change, the more they remain the same” proved to be true, sometimes in a good sense, sometimes in a not so great one. While the career went (and is still going) great guns, a lot still remains to be achieved. The hunger to prove myself is strong as ever, and the fire of happy dissatisfaction which has always been¬†my propelling force, still burns bright. I travelled to a new country (for work), met new people, saw places that I had always wanted to see, and all this totally on my own, without any company. For someone, who is more comfortable in company than in solitude, this was an interesting occurrence. While health was largely okay, there was a slight scare which was taken care of. Love/companionship was an area where life continued to tease (and taunt). While it was indeed disappointing to end the year with a single status, that is something I have learnt to take in my stride.

For all that it gave (and pushed on) to me, 2015 did manage to change me. I grew a lot quieter (I know that will come as a relief to some :D), more introspective and less likely to use my tongue¬†before I used my brains.¬†From being someone who used to be (mostly) emotion-driven, I learnt to¬†hide them when needed. While internally, I am still as much of a little child¬†as I was a year ago, I learnt to put up a more “grown up” (read: unemotional) face when faced with an¬†unfavourable situation. What also changed was that I learnt to better read people before forming an opinion about them or trusting them. I am still not perfect, but I am much better and hopefully,¬†this will stand me in good stead in the times to come. Last but not the least, I realised I still had the ability to make people smile,¬†even when I wasn’t exactly smiling myself. That was something I thought I had lost along the way.

So, what did not change? The undying (and¬†stubborn)¬†optimism still remains. That is something I¬†hope never changes. The ability to forgive easily still remains (though I do wish I had the ability to forget as well). The easy smile¬†is still there, though the laughter doesn’t burst like before. The desire to do the best in everything that I undertake hasn’t dimmed, and neither has the happiness when I see my loved ones happy. ūüôā I can still wax eloquent (or philosophical as needed) for hours at end when I am in the mood. Oh, and the “quality” of my PJs still remains intact. Whether that is good news or not, depends on how much of them you are subjected to. ūüėÄ

All in all, 2015 did give me a lot (while taking away a bit) and I will be grateful to life for yet another worthy year. Looking at the way things are lined up for 2016, I am hoping for it to be a milestone year (in many aspects). Hopefully, I will be much more regular here to document it. Till then, here is to forever optimism and never say die. 2K16, here I come! ūüôā


Of moments and waves


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It was¬†an unusual monsoon¬†evening in the city of dreams. Not for today, the¬†evening’s¬†moisture-laden winds or the unruly¬†chaos of people crowding¬†the shore. Instead, what blew across¬†the sands was a slightly dry, yet cool and strong breeze.¬†The sea of humanity had somehow¬†taken a backseat to the “real” sea. The only thing that remained unchanged was the molten orange of the setting sun, melancholic yet fulfilled, inching towards its home¬†somewhere¬†on the horizon. “This does not feel like the seashore I know. This seems…different.”,¬†he spoke to himself as he let the waves brush against his trousers. It was some time before he realised that he had forgotten to take off his shoes and had effectively, messed¬†them up. “Let it be, I needed¬†a new pair anyway, good riddance!” was how he¬†consoled himself.

After he had made a couple of rounds from one end of the beach to another, the shoes started growing heavier in his hands. Putting them on was out of the question as it¬†would mean feet polished to a sore red by the sand. Reminding himself to wear¬†floaters the next time, he decided to make a final¬†detour¬†to¬†his favourite end of the beach. It was the end where the sun used to shine the brightest in the day, and the mellowest in the evening. The longer stay of the sunshine did mean¬†extra crowds, but today that was not the case, and he¬†felt happy about it. On a day where he needed some “me time”, this was a more than welcome occurrence.

As he slowed down for the final lap, some distance away from him, he noticed her sitting alone on the sands. She sat a¬†bit away from the waves,¬†far enough to keep her dry, yet close enough to feel their splash. He would have dismissed her as yet another sea-lover or lost soul¬†if something had not caught his attention. Her eyes had something bewitchingly different about them. In his lifetime, he had seen (and gazed into) a fair share of eyes – some of them deep and inviting, some¬†others cunning and shifty, and yet others lively and innocent. Hers¬†were something else altogether, though he could not really tell what it was about them that had him hooked. To get a closer look, he sat a few feet away and gazed¬†at her, pretending all the while to look around the beach.¬†Her eyes¬†not only reflected the liquid brightness of the setting sun, but also seemed to shine with an intensity usually¬†found in someone who had their entire life¬†planned¬†and were raring to go get it. At the same time, they had a certain far away, lost quality which mellowed the intensity and made her look more inviting than intimidating.¬†“Awesome sunset today, no? I just love it.” – he spoke out loudly to no one in particular, hoping that she will hear it and respond. She noticed, but didn’t say anything, but¬†simply smiled at him and nodded in approval.

“I have not seen you much around here. Do you come here regularly?”¬†– he¬†tried¬†to keep the conversation going. “No, I do come here regularly.¬†You have noticed¬†me for the first time though, haven’t you?”, she said with a slight smile. “Umm…yes. I wonder¬†how I missed out all this while?” was all he could muster.
“Oh, it happens. We do not notice something until the time is really right. Anyway, you enjoy the sunset, I have to go.” Saying so, she stood up and turned away.
“What if I don’t want you to go?” – he blurted out without knowing how or where those words came from. The moment he said that, he¬†wished time had an Undo option. Unfortunately, it did not, and all he could do was look at her and see¬†how she reacted.

“Do you really want me to stay?”
“Yes, I do.”

It felt like a entire age had passed by while they looked at each other Рhe in anticipation, she in what seemed to be trepidation.

“Okay! Chalo…”, saying so, she stretched out her¬†hand.

As they walked along the beach, hand in hand, the waves brushing his feet felt cooler, the orange along the horizon, warmer.

Nice folks end last?

Or as is more popularly said, “Nice guys end last”. Do they really? And if they do, does being nice should no longer be a good thing? These are some of the questions that came to¬†my mind while having a conversation with a friend this morning. I do not¬†have all the answers, hence¬†I will put forth what I think. You are most welcome to say what you feel.

First and foremost, I do not believe that “nice guys end last”. I don’t think being nice is a way to fail in life, or end up second to the not so nice ones.¬†I think of this as¬†a myth propagated by those who want to hide their own failures beyond the “I am a nice person, the world is evil, how am I supposed to succeed?” cloak. What they really mean to say is “I may be a nice guy, but I am also lazy and do not want to take the efforts required to succeed. I am also ashamed of admitting that I am lazy, so let me just take a well-known phrase and use it to cover up for my inability”. I honestly believe, have seen from others, and have myself noticed that nice guys can indeed succeed if they push themselves hard (and smart) enough towards their goal. Success¬†depends more on what you do to achieve something and less on how you are as a person.¬†The presence/absence of niceness in a person does not automatically determine his/her success or failure.

So will nice folks¬†always succeed? Definitely not. There will be many situations in which the nice person¬†won’t win.¬†Some of them would surely¬†be because of the fact that s/he did not¬†take the easy/unethical way to win (because they were¬†nice). But not all of the failures stem from that. Some of them are simply because they did not push themselves to the extent needed. And in this respect, the nice guys are at just as much¬†fault as the others. Just because you are nice/good/god’s gift to humanity, it doesn’t mean that life is going to put whatever you want in your lap just like that. Like all others, you are going to have to go out and¬†earn what you think you deserve. In fact, if you are not going to go the easy way, it is almost certain that you will have to work much harder/smarter than those who don’t mind cutting corners. This sucks, but it is the price you must pay for walking the right path. So there.

So, all said and done, being a nice guy doesn’t seem to be a very smart thing to do in today’s world. You are¬†needed to put in more¬†of yourself to get back from life what others will get in lieu of much less. You may be liked¬†by others, but not necessarily taken seriously or even respected. And if¬†you goof up and lose, you cannot even fall back on the “I am nice” plank. So, chuck being nice and adopt a favourite vice, right? As¬†this is everyone’s individual¬†choice, I will only speak for myself. I¬†choose to say NO to this. Counter-intuitive as it may sounds, I have a couple of simple reasons to do so. One, I have always believed in paying a fair price for whatever I want. If I have to pay extra in terms of time, efforts or¬†patience to reach where I want to, to hold in my hands something that I want to, I will do it – without a single moment of hesitation. This will of course lead to me getting some things bit later than others. It may also¬†mean that I may have to lose out on something. That is the price I pay for sticking to my beliefs, which I have no hesitation paying. The second, and the more important reason, is even more simple (for me). “Do no evil, no matter how high the payoff seems” is something that I have always followed. If I have to use the current terminology, it goes against my moral fabric. ūüôā

To sum it all up, nice guys do not end last if they put in what is needed to¬†triumph. If you need an example, just look at¬†two nice guys¬†who has been my inspiration (among many others) when it comes to work ethic, approach towards life and making the best of what you have got. They have been the quintessential nice guys, and hugely successful ones. People always compare one against the other and fight over it, but to me, you have to learn from both to achieve¬†something in your life. I am sure you have heard about them as well – they go by the initials¬†of SRT¬†and RSD. ūüôā

Love – Ephemeral and Eternal

Disclaimer:¬†I am returning to this place after a really long time. So pardon me if I seem rusty. ūüôā

The title of this post looks¬†like one of the best¬†oxymorons ever (“honest politician” would probably take the top spot). How can something be both ephemeral (lasting for a very short time) AND eternal (lasting forever)? That too, something as universal yet largely misunderstood as love? Allow me to¬†put forth what makes me say this.

Love IS ephemeral. I am sure that the cynical would agree. Love IS eternal. I am sure the romantics would agree while the cynical (and perhaps the heartbroken) would hotly debate it. What if I say that both are correct? No, I am not trying to be diplomatic or taking the middle path. What I am saying is that both are indeed right, with a small but vital difference. The love that is ephemeral is not the love that is eternal. These are totally different animals altogether.

The ephemeral love is one that you see all around in our films/books (well, most of them actually). It is the kind that blossoms in your heart when hormones are having a ball in your brain. It is the kind that most marketing companies¬†leverage to find their way into your wallet, while claiming to¬†help you find a way into someone’s heart. No, it is not just the immature, raw feeling which we have so banally commercialised that it seems mechanical. It is also the fresh breeze which allows us to feel so attached to a person that for a moment, all that matters in the universe is that “the one”. It is also the same feeling which makes us look at someone and say “Damn! This is the one I want to grow old with and never feel old for a moment.”¬†Why am I calling it ephemeral? Simply because it just¬†does not last for long. It changes with¬†time and circumstances – sometimes for the better, sometimes not.¬†So,¬†if¬†love is indeed ephemeral, how can it be eternal? My¬†take on this is rather simple. Love, the noun, is ephemeral. Love, the verb, is eternal. Confused? Read on.

To me, love is not just a feeling you have¬†for a person. It is not just the bells (or the whole damn orchestra if you will) that go off in your mind when you think of someone. It is not the desire to make someone a part of your life. It is indeed all that, but it is much more too.¬†It is also a commitment that you make to yourself¬†and more importantly,¬†to that person. A commitment that you will stick with them through tough times, through unpleasant situations. A commitment that you will walk with them as happily in the deserts as in the gardens. A commitment that you will not just get wet in the rains with them, but also weather the storms together. That you will not just “fall in love” with them, but you will do all that it takes to “be in love” with them, right to the end. It is THIS love that is eternal – the verb, the¬†commitment.

Does this mean that the ephemeral one is a bad thing to have and the eternal one will always something that you can count on? The simple answer is a big NO. The transient one is oh-so-beautiful simply because it is like a wave. No matter how sad we feel when a wave breaks after hitting the shore, we always smile because we know the next one is going to follow soon. It teaches us to truly live in the moment. The eternal love is not something that all of us are blessed with. It takes a big piece of good fortune to have that. But it does not take fortune to be the one showering that love on someone. It simply takes honesty (to self and the other), patience and understanding.

I have written¬†a lot here, but I am sure I have not said all that I wanted to. Like I said, I am a bit rusty and will return soon with a follow-up on this. Till then, see you! ūüôā

Geet gaata hoon main…


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Bhaag jaate hai log…” would be an appropriate continuation of the title when it comes to me. ūüėõ That is how¬†enthusiastic (read: bad voice coupled with strong desire to sing) I am when it comes to singing. Jokes apart, breaking out into song (even if it is just humming) is something that I frequently do¬†– more so when I am travelling and listening to music. Singing along becomes almost involuntary reflex at times like these. ūüôā

However, what I am writing about today is not the singing that I do for myself, but the one that I do for others. More accurately, the songs that I sing for people whom I adore/like/love/cherish. These are the people who I know will not run away when I demonstrate my vocal talent (even if they want to). ūüėÄ These people (and hence, the songs) are special to me. They are close to my heart and every single one of them¬†means something to me. I am now going to talk about one such song. No, I won’t name the person. Once this post is published, that person will know. ūüôā

You might think¬†that I will be talking about a song that has a romantic memory associated with it. In that case, your guess is wrong. The song that¬†comes immediately to my mind is one that¬†I sing for a person (let us call the person “JG”) who is close to my heart. I¬†have only known JG for less than 2 years now, but it already feels like forever. Oh..the song…yes…the song is “Aa chal ke tujhe main leke chalu” from the movie “Door Gagan ki Chaanv Mein”. You can listen to the song here, while I speak about¬†why this song is special to me.

To me, this song speaks¬†not just of love, but also of hope, optimism and above all, the kind of bond that can only exist between two souls who truly understand each other. The bond need not carry a label, for all that matters is how strong it is. The lyrics¬†describe¬†a world where everything is ideal and beautiful, much like John Lennon’s “Imagine”.¬†If anyone ever sung this song for someone, you immediately know that they are wishing the best possible world for¬†that someone, free from all the worries and troubles that this world subjects them to. A utopia of sorts, where one can just be themselves and not have to worry about getting scarred by reality. As one would imagine, this also implies a desire to protect¬†one’s loved ones from anything that affects them negatively.

It is easy to dismiss this song as idealistic (unrealistic, even)¬†but one cannot deny that it invariably brings a smile to your face when you hear it. It is this child-like joy and hope that we need to see us through the day and make life a tad bit easier to bear. And if it can help us smile again and look forward to the¬†next day with renewed hope, why not? ūüôā Last but not the least, Kishore Kumar has taken this song to an entirely different level (as only he could have) without any vocal acrobatics. This is something that just takes you over and leaves you smiling – plain and simple. ūüôā

I will keep writing about many such songs. For now though, I will leave you with my most favourite lines from this song: ūüôā

Suraj ki pehli kiran se, aasha ka savera jaage,
Chandaa ki kiran se dhul kar, ghanghor andheraa bhaage,
Kabhi dhoop khile, kabhi chhaanv mile, lambi si dagar naa khale,
Jahan gam bhi na ho, aansu bhi na ho, bas pyaar hi pyaar pale..