Category Archives: Musings

Kuch khaas hai, hum sabhi mein…

18 Wednesday Sep 2013

Posted by in Happiness, Life, Looking back, Musings

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So, after days of no updates, here is the second update in a single day. Thank (or blame) Ganpati Bappa for that. It is the visarjan half-day (coupled with work-from-home) that helps me do this. 🙂 Just like one of my earlier posts, the idea for this one too comes from Meenu.

The concept she came up with was quite simple – think of yourself as a model and decide which product/brand would you endorse and why. Now, while the concept might be simple, deciding the product/brand was not so easy, simply because I am not a brand fanatic as such. For me, the utility of any product is what matters more than the name it bears. Of course, some names are a more reliable guarantor of quality than others, but then, that’s about it. Having said that, it didn’t take me much time to arrive at what I would endorse if I had the chance to. If, like me, you have been a teenager in the 90s, you will surely have a look at the title of this post and instantly know what I am talking about. Yes, its something that we all grew up with – our beloved Cadbury. 🙂

Unlike kids today who have a plethora of options when it comes to stuffing their mouths with various cocoa byproducts (we HAVE TO thank MMS and PVN Rao for opening up imports), kids (and kids at heart) in the 90s grew up on a staple diet of Cadburys. While we all had our personal favourites, I can safely bet that Eclairs, 5-Star, Dairy Milk and Gems were always around, not to forget the daily morning cup of Bournvita (yes, I drink Bournvita even today, no matter what you think of me). In their own way, I would say each of these was special to every one of us. As for me, I wasn’t too much into 5-Star or Eclairs (sticky ones are a no-no for me), but I was absolutely crazy for Gems and the Dairy Milk bars. Sweet memories of these go a long way back into time. Yes, you can call me an oldie if you want. I would be too lost in the rich, creamy taste to even notice. 😀

But then, are memories made up of only taste? Definitely not, when you have grown up with such wonderful chocolates around, factors other than taste are bound to mark their presence. The Friday evenings, when mom would get me a Dairy Milk, is something I used to look forward to as eagerly as the declaration of final exam results, which would mean a large packet full of chocolates getting delivered to yours truly. The BIG smile that would light up my ex’s face when I took a Bournville out of my bag is something to be seen to be believed. Similarly, the 100W bulb waala expression on someone’s (you know who you are :D) face when I mention “blue waali Gems” is unparalleled. This is the stuff that cherished memories are made of, and Cadbury has been a  big part of these.

I could go on and on about the Cadbury magic, but I will have to stop it here. There is a Bournville in the fridge calling me, and I think I have definitely earned it. 😀

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Sa Re Ga Ma…

03 Saturday Aug 2013

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No, I am not going to talk about the TV show here. Neither am I going to wax eloquent about how music is food for the soul (which it indeed is) or the catch-all solution to forget all of our problems at least temporarily (which again it indeed is). Instead, I am going to talk about what I feel when I listen to music or sing a song. I am NOT going to write about what others think when they listen to me singing, because I want this blog to be as free of violent thoughts/actions as possible. 😛

Those who know me well, know that I generally tend to listen to mostly Hindi songs from 1940s to 1970s. I do get called an oldie goldie for that, but that is how it is. These are songs I grew up listening to, absorbing not just the tunes, or even the voices, but also the meaning of their words. These songs have really spoiled me, in the sense that even today when I happen to catch a song playing somewhere, the first thing that I notice are the lyrics, then the voices, and at the end, the tunes/instrumentals. Call me old-fashioned or even finicky, but that is how my mind reacts to a song. 🙂

As far the lyrics go, they deserve an entire post of their own and I wouldn’t like to shoe-horn it into this one. Hence, I am going to focus more on the vocals part here. For some of us, these can be what make or break a song. However, for me, even though are very important, it is not about how good a job the singer has done. It is about how much of “soul” s/he has put into it. Recorded sound quality is something which can be drastically altered/improved these days with autotune, but the passion, the subtle nuances/feelings the singer imparts to the song can never be provided by a piece of code. Sometimes, even the most accomplished singer or someone more fluent with the language can come up with a less than exciting performance while someone with a relatively less melodious voice can come up with a 24 carat rendition of the same song. At the risk of courting a controversy, I will point you to the Lata Mangeshkar and Bhupen Hazarika versions of “Dil hoom hoom kare” from Rudaali. Again, this is strictly my personal opinion, and you need not agree.

Now that you know what I think of the vocals in a song, it shouldn’t really come to you as a surprise if I say that the emotions put in by a singer are what I like more in a song than the technical aspects of voice modulation, ability to hit the high notes etc. Of course, these are important when you are a professional singer, but if you are not, I will be perfectly happy if I can sense what goes on in your mind when I hear you sing. 🙂 As an added advantage, this also liberates me from judging myself up to a certain standard when I sing a song. I know I am not a singer by any stretch of imagination, and will never be. But as long as I am singing it with all my honesty and the one for whom I am singing it appreciates the same, I will be a happy fellow.

This post has meandered quite a bit, just like my attempts at singing, and I will gladly take the blame for that. Like I have said many times before (and will probably say many more times), it is never about the melody in the song, it is always about the song behind the melody. 🙂

P.S: This does mean that those unfortunate enough to be at the receiving end of my vocal acrobatics will continue to remain so. No escape for you guys!! 😀

Turning the pages

02 Friday Aug 2013

Posted by in Dreams, Happiness, Life, Musings, Optimism

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This is the first time EVER that I am writing a post on a topic suggested by someone else. The simple reason being that I wanted to see how well I did when I water a seed that someone else planted in my mind. This idea is courtesy Meenu who asked me to write a post about the book that I have liked/loved most and I said…why not? Let us see what we can come up with. So, in a way, this post is dedicated to her.

So, which book am I going to talk about today? I will be honest – it wasn’t an easy choice at all. Though I have never claimed to be a “voracious reader” and I work in an industry where paper is treated as an untouchable commodity, I am responsible for a fair amount of trees being cut down. Out of all the books I have read so far, each one (with a few exceptions) has been an enjoyable journey. Intriguing at times, engrossing at others. So, picking out one was easier said than done. That being said, I decided to go by gut feel. I just laid back, closed my eyes, and the very first image that flashed in my mind was the story of Santiago, a shepherd boy in search of his dream.

As many of you might have guessed by now, I am talking about The Alchemist, one of Paulo Coelho’s all-time classics. I will not go into the details of the plot of the book. You can always refer to Wikipedia for that. Neither am I going to come up with a review of the book, as I believe that a book is something to be felt, to be experienced, and not to be evaluated or reviewed. I am simply going to tell you about the impression that this tale made on me, and how it has helped me in my life. Yes, you read that right. This is one book whose theme I have been able to apply practically in my day-to-day life. 🙂

Thanks to SRK and Om Shanti Om, almost everyone is aware of the key theme of the book. “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it” is what the alchemist tells Santiago. To a large extent, this is something we all would like to believe in, and why not? Who wouldn’t want to desire something and have things fall in place auto-magically? Seems too good to be true, and it indeed is. This is something which I have found that many of us miss out on. In the ecstasy of imagining our dreams come true just like that, we forget about one more thing that Santiago was told. And I will admit – I didn’t catch it the first time either. It was only when I actually tried applying the principle in real life that I encountered it. Curious? Read on.

“Those who don’t understand their Personal Legends will fail to comprehend its teachings” is what the alchemist says to Santiago, adding that when we are young, we all know what our “Personal Legend” is. Admittedly, this sounds like high-brow management speak, until you realise it is nothing else but the basic purpose of your life – the role that you are supposed to play on this big stage. As I understand it, it is all about really focusing on what you want to achieve in life, what you want to be remembered as after you have made your exit, and then fearlessly working your way towards it. It is only after you have set foot on this journey that things start falling in place for you. If you expect to sit on your ass and expect things to fall on your lap, remember that even a beggar sitting outside the temple doesn’t enjoy that luxury. He has to reach out to people and tug at their heart strings to make them loosen their purse strings.

Coming back to myself, this book has always been a great source of inspiration to me. Whenever I feel down and out (yes people, I do feel like that at times) I simply pick it up, flip to a random page and start reading. Invariably, I find that calm is restored within some time. Two of the most important lessons that this book has taught me are – “follow your dreams” and “life listens to what you say/do and rewards you accordingly”. The first one is pretty obvious to understand and equally difficult to follow to the fullest. Fortunately, I have always been blessed with opportunities (and people) around me who have been supportive of my efforts to make my life the way I want it to be. Of course, there have been detractors too, a fair share of them. But for me, they have proved to be more of a motivator. If there is something I really love doing, it is having people tell me that I cannot do something and then proving them wrong. 😉

The second one is a bit tricky. At first, I had thought that it was all about life paying you back for your good/bad deeds, or what is popularly known as karma. Then, I realised that it was not just karma, it was also about how we accept what life bestows on us. Whatever life puts in our hands, we have to accept it with equanimity. If it gives you something which makes you happy, smile, be grateful to it and thank it. If it gives you something that makes you sad, smile, say “no worries, I hope I get a better deal next time round” and move ahead towards your dream. Trust me, life WILL pay you back what it owes you. 🙂 In my experience so far, I have found it to be the most balanced credit-debit sheet EVER. One thing that I have learnt (sometimes the hard way) is not to deny anything that life offers to you. If it offers you something that you feel you are not worthy of, you are WRONG. Life knows better. If you are getting something, it is because you deserve it, as simple as that. Don’t deny yourself the pleasure, cherish it. 🙂

This has been a long post so far, but a very satisfying one to write. Thanks Meenu, get your brain cells buzzing – if these are the kind of ideas you are going to come up with, I need more of them. 🙂

Same thing, same time…

14 Sunday Jul 2013

Posted by in Life, Musings

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“Hey, I was JUST about to say that”
“Same thing at the same time…great minds think alike, at the same time, too…” 😀
“Yaar, mere munh ki baat chheen li tumne…”

If any of these sound familiar to you, you already know what I am going to talk about today. Yes, its about what is generally known as telepathy, or that awesome (or weird if you claim to possess that intangible quality called sanity) phenomenon where your mental frequency (wavelength if you choose so) matches with someone so well, that completing each others’ sentences, reading their mind, and yes, saying the same thing at the same time (even if it is not directly related to what you are discussing at that point of time) becomes an everyday affair. It happens many a times with me, not with many people though. And like most of my other posts, this too is about my own experiences, and definitely NOT about whether telepathy exists or not. If I experience it with you, it very much exists. If I don’t, it doesn’t. As simple as that. 🙂

I have always believed that if you have people in your life with whom you can speak less and say more, and be assured that they will get you right, you are a very fortunate person. This person need not always be your lover/spouse or even your soulmate. Yes, one’s lover/spouse may NOT be one’s soulmate, but I digress. It can be a friend, or even someone whom you have known for a short while. What really matters is that with these people, communication is nothing short of near-magic, where you don’t speak much not because you don’t have much to speak about, but because you don’t need to. And when you speak, the understanding is so good, it almost seems too good to be true. Now, this does not mean that you agree on anything and everything, it simply means that even if you don’t agree on something, you don’t have to do much to make the other person understand it.

After reading the above paragraph, you might think that I have digressed from where I started. What does understanding each other well have to do with telepathy? Right? Well, let me ask you this – where does the damn telepathy come from? Unless you understand each other well, it is well-nigh impossible to be so much in sync that your thoughts (and words) complement each other even when they run in opposite directions. You might be a butter chicken fanatic and they may run away even at the mere glimpse of an egg, but if the very mention of “food” gets both of you saying “Chal yaar…kuch khaate hai…bhookh lagi hai”, THAT, my dear friends, is telepathy. And before you think that all I can think of is food (someone definitely considers me a “foodie”), let me tell you that I took food as an example because its the easiest to understand. 😀 I could have equally well taken up a topic like emotions or love, but then knowing me, that would have been so predictable. 😉

Now where does this “telepathy” really stem from? I believe that we all have our own unique blend of craziness (this theory does explain my round-the-clock ability to yap quite well) and when we come across someone with a similar blend, the resulting magic is inevitable. There is really no scientific explanation for this, and I am not even seeking any. I am just happy that such a thing exists, and there are people in my life (however few) with whom I can experience it. 🙂 In fact, when I come across a new person in any sphere of my life, one of the first things I look out for is the ease with which we can communicate. And if I happen to strike gold, the happiness is second to none.

Having said all that, I must say that this is not something I have experienced it with too many people in my life. In fact, I can count such people on the fingers of one hand (and I am not even Hrithik Roshan to have an extra finger). So, if I have told you that I have experienced this with you, you belong to a very select club. Thanks for matching my blend of craziness…you are awesome! 🙂

The inner child, the outer adult

04 Thursday Jul 2013

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“You are actually a kid at heart”, said my friend to me some days back. What prompted her to say so was my penchant for going out and getting wet in the rains when it is pouring. Add to it my reluctance to use an umbrella unless I have my laptop with me, and you get a classic picture of a kid who has grown old but refuses to grow up. 😀 That remark set me thinking. I was about to write a post on it when work happened to ransack my schedule, and the post got placed on the back burner. Then a couple of days back, an office colleague remarked, “You always seem so calm, its almost like you are unaffected by anything around you.”. Now, these are two rather contradictory observations. After all, you expect a kid to be anything but calm. However, both are quite correct in their own right, and this is what today’s post is all about.

Firstly, I will say that it is not as much of a contradiction as it seems – to be a kid and to stay calm at the same time. I can only speak from my own experience and observation, so it is quite likely that your take on this will differ from mine. What I have seen that typically people confuse “being child-like” with “being childish”. What they don’t understand that maturity is not necessarily achieved at the cost of innocence/optimism. When it is, it amounts to cynicism, not maturity. For me, being a kid at heart is not as easy as it seems to a casual observer. It has taken (and continues to take) lots of effort to keep that kid alive and kicking. When the rains come calling, and I stretch my head/hands/legs out of the window to get wet or go jumping in the puddles (yup, I do that – now you know why I get called a kid), it is not just because I enjoy the rains, it is also because I choose to remember the happy moments and memories that the rains bring, and leave behind the not so happy ones. 🙂

Being a kid is not child’s play – this is what I have always believed. It involves facing up to all that life has to offer, and yet not let that inner child lose his innocence and zest for life. This is where the outer adult comes into play (pun intended). While the inner child keeps the innocence alive, the outer adult shields him from the vagaries of day-to-day life and lets him play happily. How does he do it? Simple – by not allowing the kid to get disheartened if things don’t go his way. “Somebody was mean to you? Hey, you know what you are..right? That fellow doesn’t know you.” The kid looks up to the adult for an assurance – if things get messed up, he will still have a safe haven to go. If there are tears in his eyes, someone will be around to wipe them off and bring the smile back. If he misbehaves, he can be sure his ass will be spanked and he will be told to shut up. 😉

So, does this mean that the adult plays the more important role of the two? NO. Where do you think this outer adult derives his strength, his “calm” from? Who do you think prevents him from being cynical when the world tries to screw him over?Yup, you got that right. Much as the child is dependent on the adult for protection, the adult owes his sanity to that little kid. For it is the kid who manages to make him smile when he is faced with disappointment. It is his optimism that cheers the adult when his shoulders sag with the world weighing on them. And it is the kiddo who tells him…”hey, you sad about something? Oh you don’t need to be…come on cheer up.” when he needs someone who will believe in him.

Rather than getting into an endless (and fruitless) analysis of who is more important, and what role should one be playing, I will keep it simple – both these guys have been vital in making me what I am, keeping me sane while not letting go of my craziness. So next time you watch me jumping into a puddle or being not bothered by what is happening around me, remember this – you are only seeing one part of me, you are yet to see the other one. 🙂

Meri aawaaz suno…

30 Tuesday Apr 2013

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Like promised in a previous post about talking, here I am, back with a post on “listening”. 🙂 As you might have guessed by now, this is not about “hearing”, its about “listening”. Not much of a difference, you might say. Well, read on and see for yourself.

Admittedly, I am not the first person to talk about this. There are a whole lot of  resources out there – articles, essays, even books – on how to be a good listener. They will all tell you about how to pay attention to someone when they are talking, how to notice the non-verbal cues that they express, and tons of stuff like that. I like to keep things simple, though. While all that will indeed work for you, it is a lot of work digesting all that material and then putting it into practice. The way I handle it, it all boils down to one simple thing – “listen like you are the one talking”.

Now, this does not mean that you pitch in with your reactions/thoughts while the other person is talking. It only means that when you are listening, give the other person’s thoughts the same amount of importance that you would give to your own. We all have this innate desire to be heard and understood, and no one is an exception. When someone is talking to you, in effect, they are opening up a part of themselves to you, and thereby exposing themselves to being judged by you. No matter how serious or trivial the subject is, it does take some placing of trust in the listener to do that. So, when you listen, respect the trust that has been placed in you. Listening to someone is not a case study where you have to analyse a situation and pronounce a judgement. So don’t treat it like one. All the other person could want in you is someone to whom they can express their thoughts. Keep your thoughts to yourself unless asked. Basically, keep your mouth shut and mind open. 🙂

One more thing that comes to mind – do not react when you are listening. Reactions/reflexes are natural to us and if the person talking is close to us, we do react, at times impulsively. What this ends up achieving is that the other person also reacts to our reactions, and any further communication thereon is guided by a cycle of reactions and counter-reactions, not by the original thought that s/he wanted to express. I believe this defeats the entire purpose of the exercise. No matter what you think about the issue, always allow the other person to finish. This can be very difficult to do, especially if their views are contrary to yours, but it is a skill worth acquiring, trust me. 🙂 More importantly, this puts the other person in a more positive/relaxed frame of mind, which itself is half the job done.

If possible, look the person in the eye while they are talking. Let them feel that you are with them because you are genuinely interested in what they are saying, and not because you are supposed to show that you are listening. Of course, there are times when this does not apply. Looking straight at a person when they are confessing their guilt can scare or embarrass them further. Also, if they are talking about something very traumatic, they might feel as if they are being placed under a microscope. Use your best judgement and you will do fine. 🙂

Though there is lots I can say about this topic, I will wrap things up here with a small but very vital point, otherwise you will cease to listen (read, actually) further.  I believe that this world needs more of good listeners than good talkers. Anyone can talk well with some effort and dedication, but it takes lots to be someone whom people will trust to listen and not misunderstand them. Try and belong to the latter group – its a much more worthwhile place to be. 🙂

Happy Birthday Sam!!

19 Friday Apr 2013

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No, I am not wishing myself a happy waala birthday here, if that is what you thought after reading the post title. This is a post written by my best friend Arundhati (or Aru as I call her). Unlike otherwise, I am not gonna talk much, and let her words do the talking! 🙂

HBTY Sam

Aru..thanks a ton! Loved it. 🙂

Talk to me

17 Wednesday Apr 2013

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One good thing that has started happening since I have started writing a post every day is that the reactions to a post typically provide me with the idea for the next day’s post. That way, I don’t have to tax my brains too much for the next dose of inspiration. Following this pattern, a friend and me were discussing about yesterday’s post wherein he mentioned that though I said that love can happen more than once, it was very difficult to find someone worth loving. I asked him about what he looked for when he looked for “someone to love”, so to speak. The main thing that came out of the discussion that followed was that it is not always about romantic feelings or physical companionship. What he really craved was simply having someone to share his feelings with, someone to just sit down and talk to.

Now that struck a chord with me. Not just because I love to talk, but also because I believe that one of the most important factors in any worthwhile human connection is the ability to share your thoughts, experiences, fears with the other person. And as I have observed, the most effective way to this is by – you guessed it…talking to each other. When you find someone with whom you can talk what you can’t talk with others, you’ve found the proverbial pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Do your best to hold on to it. 🙂

Now, why is talking so important to us, especially when it comes to forming close connections with people around us? Forget for a moment cliches like “Man is a social animal” – the fact remains that we all have a basic need to express what we think. What follows is this is the need for an audience, but not everything we think/feel is intended to be shared with all and sundry. This is where the need for a “listener” to whom we can talk freely comes in the picture. Secondly, talking to someone, especially about something close to your heart, is an act of opening up to that person, and trusting him/her to understand you. And when you do that, you automatically form a connection with that person unlike any other. In that sense, I believe that talking your heart out to someone is more intimate a gesture than a hug or a kiss. I speak this from experience – if someone shares with you what they cannot or do not share with anyone else, consider yourself special. You mean a LOT to them. Do all that you can to deserve that privilege.

And just as talk can be used to share your feelings or to foster companionship, it can also be used as a cloak to hide your true colours or to mislead/manipulate someone. NEVER do that to anyone – you will only end up generating a lot of bad blood in the end. Broken trust is the most difficult thing to repair. If you feel that someone is doing it to you, the simplest way out is to take your time to trust people. No one is going to judge you for taking a while to trust people, as long as you trust the right lot. 🙂

For talking to be worthwhile, what matters the most is “listening” (not “hearing”). You need to be a good listener, if you seek the privilege of having someone to talk to. However, I will keep that for another post. For now, I will wrap up things here with a line I read somewhere, and which sums up my thoughts on this very effectively – “When you don’t talk, there’s a lot of stuff that ends up not getting said”.

Does love happen only once?

15 Monday Apr 2013

Posted by in Life, Looking back, Love, Musings

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So…quite a difficult question in the title up there, right? And supposedly, one with no simple answer, right? Well…no and yes respectively, if you ask me. The question is really simple, the answer not quite so. Does Cupid behave like lightning and refuse to strike at the same place twice? Or does he believe in second chances? Like all good questions, this one too doesn’t have a definitive answer, and I only have my experiences and observations (not to mention, beliefs) to fall back on.

Let me keep things simple here. If you ask me if love can happen twice, my answer would be a resounding YES. No round about answers there, just a simple, uncomplicated yes. Okay, so if someone falls in love the second time, doesn’t that mean that s/he wasn’t really in love the first time round? Or even worse, isn’t s/he just a fickle-minded person who jumps from one romantic interest to another with little hesitation? Since I have been asked (and answered) these questions many times before (this doesn’t imply that I have been in that situation many times :P), here is what I always say to these questions.

Firstly, we need to stop treating love like a non-renewable energy resource, which cannot be replenished once depleted. The way I see it, love is more of a verb than a noun, a promise than a feeling. Loving someone is not (just) something that happens instinctively, its a conscious promise that you make to yourself and that person. Of course, you may or may not be able to fulfill that promise depending on the circumstances, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that it is basically something you do, and not something that happens to you out of the blue. And by that definition, you can indeed commit yourself to another person, though obviously not at the same time – that would just make you a desperado in my books ;).

Consider this – why do we think that we will not be able to love someone else? or for that matter, no one is able to love more than once? Why do we feel that the so-called “true love” happens only once? I feel it is because we carry around the remnants of the first love for too long with us. Agreed, it was wonderful to be in love with someone, and to have shared dreams of sharing the sunset of life with that person. But if circumstances have taken that person out of your life – it is indeed for a reason. It need not be anyone’s fault – it could simply be that despite of all that was, you two just weren’t meant to be. And if you keep carrying the burden of the past with you, you are neither going to enjoy the present, nor going to be able to create the future. To create a new dawn, you have to leave the old dusk behind. For the tree to flourish, the seed has to be buried. It might sound (and be) painful to do so, but if it has to be done, it has to be done. 🙂

On a lighter note, consider the mathematical proof (invented by yours truly) of how love can happen more than once. In fact, it can happen at least 300 times. Surprised? This is how it works: The world population is about 7 billion. For the sake of even figures, assume it to be 6 billion. Out of these 6 billion, let only 10% belong to your age group (the “eligible” candidates for a romantic interest). This comes to about 600 million. Considering that you are only interested in the opposite gender, this halves down to 300 million. Now, even assuming that your so-called “the one” is one in a million person, the best ever, and all that jazz, there are 300 people who fit this definition. So, even if you haven’t struck gold the first time, there are still 299 more arrows in your quiver. Now doesn’t THAT sound good? 😛

Well, mathematical proofs aside, one thing is irrefutable – love can indeed happen twice, provided you open your heart to it. Sinking its head in the sand did no good for the ostrich, and it won’t do any good for you either. So if you haven’t found your rainbow the first time round, don’t worry – there will still be many monsoons coming your way. 🙂

Return to innocence

14 Sunday Apr 2013

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One of the immediate reactions to yesterday’s post (just as I had expected) was from my one of my friends – “Abey, tu abhi tak bada nahi hua kya?” (Haven’t you grown up yet, man?). To which, my reply was – “Bada ho gaya, boodha nahi hua!!” (I have grown up, not grown old). While that repartee was enough to shut him up, it did leave me thinking. Why this bias against staying young in the mind? Physically everyone wants to stay on the right side of 30, though. Why do we place so much of a premium on “growing up” that displaying your inner child seems almost like a stigma?

Admittedly, this is a question I don’t have the answer to. Neither am I going to attempt answering that today. What I do have, however, is a firm belief that if you are not keeping your inner child alive and happy, you are doing life wrong. I have taken great pains to make that happen, and I can totally understand when you say that it is easier said than done. When life seems intent on serving you with disappointment in frequent doses, holding on to those nuggets of sunshine can be quite a task. But then, nothing worth having in life ever came easy. So, if your inner kid is still sporting a smile on his face, you’ve done great. 🙂 Keep doing whatever it is that you have done so far. And if he has a frown on his face (or worse, if you can’t seem to find him), let me tell you my way of making him smile. It may or may not work for you, but no harm in trying, I think.

First and foremost, stop caring for what the world would say/think. The moment you start worrying about what someone else would think of your actions, you’ve already started playing your game by their rules. And let me tell you this, it just doesn’t work that way. If its your life being played out, its your rules that have to be followed – as simple as that. Figure out what is most important to you, focus on that and your actions will follow suit. You will indeed need to step on a few toes while doing this, but as long as you are not doing anything devious or evil, you should be fine. This is the MOST difficult first step you will have ever taken, but the payoff is totally worth it. Now, if you are wondering how does that relate to your inner child, go and observe a child. Notice how their first priority always seems to be to keep themselves happy. They may shower their love on you, but will never put themselves in too much trouble, unless really required. This self-centered innocence is what we had as kids. When we “grew up”, we either “developed” it into an excessively self-sacrificing attitude or replaced it with an uncompromising “my way or the highway” stance. Neither of these really helped us, right? 🙂

Secondly, as a result of #1 above, there will be times you will feel that you are doing something wrong. Its quite natural to feel so, especially when your near and dear ones might be affected by some of the things that you end up doing. At times like these, ask yourself this very simple question – if you do what the world wants you to do, and end up being a sad, unhappy person, who (apart from yourself) will be affected the most? Yes – you got that right. A little bit of hurt is always necessary for growth. Trust me – if are honest with yourself and with them, the ones who really matter will still be standing there for you when you win over life at your own terms. The most important thing is to believe in what you are aiming for.

Lastly, and most importantly, NEVER EVER give up on yourself or that kid whom you are doing all this for. No matter how well (or not) you are doing in life, you always deserve a lot better. That is not going to happen all by itself. It will need sweat, blood, and often tears too before you finally taste the flourish of happiness. That is a heady mix – the feeling of having played the game by your own rules, and winning it. Don’t get cynical, don’t feel dejected. Whenever you feel the darkness of the night in your heart, remember that dawn is just a moment away. 🙂 You might get branded as foolish or too optimistic (I have been called that many a times), but then, hang on to that innocent, hopeful child who tells you that all will be well. 🙂

Life may have turned you into a disbeliever and you may have been intoxicated by the dark flavours of cynicism, but believe me – innocence is far more intoxicating. You only have to experience it once, and you will be hooked.

Normally, I like to end my posts with a flourish, a self-quote, so to say. This time though, Enigma have made the job easier for me. I couldn’t have said it better.

Follow just your own way, follow just your own way,
Don’t give up, don’t give up,
To return, to return to innocence…