Monthly Archives: April 2013

Easy does it..or does it?

11 Thursday Apr 2013

Posted by in Musings

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This post was triggered by a conversation I had with a friend today. During the course of the conversation, she happened to say that one should not commit to something with which they are not comfortable. To which, my reply was that the human mind is indeed a strange place. If we are uncomfortable with something, we tend to value/desire it more than something we are at home with. And this is what set me thinking – what is it about us that makes us take for granted what we get easily or without much effort? I have seen this happen so many times around me, sometimes in my own life, sometimes in someone else’s that it surprises me no more. Yet, I do find it a curious phenomenon.

Like many questions in life, this too is someone we can only have our own theories or opinions about, without really having an absolute answer. Personally, I feel it is because if we get something with little or no effort, we feel entitled to it. “Hey, why should I have to work my backside off for that? Or to even deserve it? See how I got it so easily the first time round? That is what is gonna happen the next time as well.” – this is what we keep saying to ourselves. On the other hand, if we have to shed a lot of sweat to have something in our hands (no, I am not talking about standing in a long queue outside Starbucks :P), we automatically tend to respect it a lot more. Not only because we have put in so much effort into it, but also because we know that if we let it go, we will have to do all that hard work again, and don’t want to do so.

And this brings me to the next obvious thought – why can’t we appreciate something based on its own intrinsic value, regardless of how we have got it? Why can’t we be grateful for the good fortune of having something without stretching ourselves too much. Believe me – there will be someone who would kill to have what you have. So, why not be thankful for that? Also, there will be times when you will put in your life and soul into something, sacrifice nights and nights of sleep over it, and yet have precious nothing to show as a result. What are you going to do then? Get obsessed with it and brood over it? Or just smile, shrug it off and get ready for the next battle? For me, the choice is obvious. 🙂

So, the next time whenever you get/achieve something, wipe that smug smile off your face. Just look up at the sky, and give your friend up there a big thumbs up. Tell him that you are thankful for what you have, and ready to fight for what you don’t. 🙂

P.S: This is not all I have to say on this matter. I will let the thought lie dormant within for some time, and soon be back with a follow-up post.

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Aao meelon chalein…

10 Wednesday Apr 2013

Posted by in Life, Musings

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Jab We Met happens to be one of my favourite films – the kind you can just sit back and enjoy, without worrying that you are probably watching it for the Nth time. Awesome music, honest performances, and an overall feel-good factor – there are so many things to enjoy about this movie. And yet, what has remained with me the most is a line from one of its songs – “Aao meelon chalein, jaana kaha…naa ho pata…“

Taken literally, this would mean walking along a path, not knowing where the destination is. Admittedly, this is a scary thought, and trust me, I am actually quite uncomfortable with it. One thing that I have always loved having in my life is certainty of an outcome in whatever I do, and this just does not fit in. But then, is it really as scary or undesirable as it seems to be? Not really, if you consider the other side of the coin.

Typically, when we set about doing something, we have a set of one or more possible outcomes in mind. We tend to work towards these outcomes, adjusting our tactics when faced with situations which would divert us from these “goals”. Having been brainwashed over the years, we sincerely believe that unless we know where we are going, we would never end up reaching there. Hence, it is vitally important to know where we are going, and if we don’t know that, we are in for trouble. Now, this actually works beautifully for measurable goals like accumulating a certain bank balance, rising to a desired designation in your job, or even buying a house/car. And this leads us to believe that definite goals are the holy grail of life.

This is when we take the first false step – we start applying this principle to anything and everything that we want to do or possess. Unfortunately, not everything works in this fashion. Many a times, it is necessary to not know where we are going if we want to reach there. Setting your eyes on the final goal will prevent you from enjoying the journey, and if you have not enjoyed the journey, you have surely missed out on a lot. The biggest area where this applies is what I call “human connections” – these may be friendships, relationships, affairs or the like. Ask this to yourself – would you really enjoy falling in love with someone if you had a 30/60/90-day deadline to making that person like you? Would you be happy if your mind was always looking at the calendar and going “Oh my god..just 23 days to go before I pop the question. I have to speed up my efforts.“? If you have answered yes to any of these, please stop reading right here. If not, you have your head (and heart) in the right place. 😀

When we allow relationships/friendships to blossom, we allow them time to forge together, to prosper without the stress of an artificial deadline looming. When we have our eyes on what we want out if it, all our actions are dictated by the end goal, and not the natural flow of the relationship. Guess what this leads to? Yes, it is spelled as D.I.S.A.S.T.E.R.

Moral of the story? Sometimes, its good to not know where you are going. Who knows, you just might reach the right destination. Meelon chalne ka bhi apna hi mazaa hai..hai na? 🙂

Tomorrow would be a better day

09 Tuesday Apr 2013

Posted by in Happiness, Hope, Life

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Walking round the park, to the tune of his favourite song wafting in his ears, was something he always enjoyed. Not only did it make him feel happy from within, it also allowed him to exist somewhere between reality and imagination, in thought-filled suspension. Among the things that he made sure never to miss, were the daily walks in the park, followed by the coffee from the “cycle waala anna” as he used to call him. For him, the walks were not just exercise, but also means to calm down his mind, to detoxify his thoughts.

Today had been an unusually bad day at work, with his boss making sure that he hated his job a bit more than usual. Surprisingly, today the walk had failed to calm him. Perhaps he was overwhelmed by all that had happened during the day. To top it, the coffee waala was nowhere to be seen, which pissed him off even more. As he finished his walk and waited for his dose of coffee, he happened to notice a kid playing at some distance from him. Not finding anyone around supervising the child, he walked towards the kid, almost prepared to admonish him for playing alone in the park. When he reached a few steps away from the kid, he noticed that there was no reason really for anyone to be around the kid. His torn clothes and dusty demeanor told of a street-side orphan, whom you could expect to roam the streets alone. The broken toys in his hands further confirmed his suspicion.

Slightly disappointed, he drew away, but then something caught his attention. The boy had on his face, perhaps one of the brightest smiles he had ever seen. Absolutely engrossed in his own little world, the boy was least bothered by all that happened around him.

“Toote khilone se khelne mein itna mazaa aata hai tujhe?” (Do you really enjoy playing with a broken toy so much?), he asked.

Looking up and beaming, the kid replied “Haan. Kal to ye bhi nahi tha. Aaj kuch to hai na.” (Of course! Yesterday I did not even have this. At least today I have something)

“Aur kal agar ye bhi nahi raha toh?” (And what if you don’t have this with you tomorrow?)

“To kya? Toh phir kuch aur hoga. Uske liye rone ka kaayko?” (So what? Maybe I will have something else. Why to worry about that?)

Saying so, the kid went back to his game, leaving him thinking. Yaar, sach hi to bola woh..why to cry?, he smiled to himself as he walked back. Tomorrow was indeed going to be a brighter day at work. He was going to make sure it was. 🙂

Back to life

08 Monday Apr 2013

Posted by in Happiness, Hope, Life, Looking back, Love

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The sudden whirring of the coffee machine right behind him jolted him back to his senses. Looking at the now empty glass of Devil’s Own in front of him, he signaled to the cafe attendant for a repeat order. While waiting for the coffee, he focused his gaze on the crowds outside the cafe.

Observing people was his favourite hobby, making stories out of those observations his passion. He remembered the time when they used to sit for hours on a corner seat and create stories out of the crowds passing by. From blossoming love stories to kids sulking because they were denied their treats, from huge groups of cheerful faces to loners enjoying their crowded solitude, their imagination had led them on endless flights of fantasy. Creating stories was something he always enjoyed, doing so with her was the proverbial icing on the cake. “Tum kahaaniyaan banaate nahi thakte na kabhi?” was her usual refrain. “Haan to kya karu? Tum saath hoti ho to mera imagination kuch zyaada hi daudne lagta hai. Sab tumhaari hi galti hai. :P” was his usual retort. All over the years, the refrain never changed, and neither did the retort. It was one of those things where change was pretty much unwelcome.

The loners (lone rangers, as she called them) were his favourite subject, because when there was not much to observe, there was much more to imagine. Never thought I would end up being one of the lone rangers, he smiled to himself. “Let me see if someone out there is observing me. Am I somebody’s lone ranger?” Sure enough, there were a few eyes drifting across him, taking care to stop just long enough to observe, but not long enough to stare.

It was a few months since they had seen each other for perhaps the last time, and he still remembered her eyes, fixed on him as she walked (no…dragged) away from  him, perhaps the most difficult steps she ever took. Endless moments had passed since then, and though he did not really like it, he had habituated himself to a life without her. The only thing that he had not mustered enough courage for, was to step into their favourite cafe. Doing something which was an “us thing”, all by himself, almost felt like sacrilege. But he knew, deep within, that he needed to do it.

Finishing the second cup of coffee, he paid the bill and walked out of not just the cafe, but also his past. A past, which was undoubtedly beautiful, but would look best only in the sunsets of memories, not the sunrises of the dreams. He walked back to life.