Jab We Met happens to be one of my favourite films – the kind you can just sit back and enjoy, without worrying that you are probably watching it for the Nth time. Awesome music, honest performances, and an overall feel-good factor – there are so many things to enjoy about this movie. And yet, what has remained with me the most is a line from one of its songs – “Aao meelon chalein, jaana kaha…naa ho pata…“
Taken literally, this would mean walking along a path, not knowing where the destination is. Admittedly, this is a scary thought, and trust me, I am actually quite uncomfortable with it. One thing that I have always loved having in my life is certainty of an outcome in whatever I do, and this just does not fit in. But then, is it really as scary or undesirable as it seems to be? Not really, if you consider the other side of the coin.
Typically, when we set about doing something, we have a set of one or more possible outcomes in mind. We tend to work towards these outcomes, adjusting our tactics when faced with situations which would divert us from these “goals”. Having been brainwashed over the years, we sincerely believe that unless we know where we are going, we would never end up reaching there. Hence, it is vitally important to know where we are going, and if we don’t know that, we are in for trouble. Now, this actually works beautifully for measurable goals like accumulating a certain bank balance, rising to a desired designation in your job, or even buying a house/car. And this leads us to believe that definite goals are the holy grail of life.
This is when we take the first false step – we start applying this principle to anything and everything that we want to do or possess. Unfortunately, not everything works in this fashion. Many a times, it is necessary to not know where we are going if we want to reach there. Setting your eyes on the final goal will prevent you from enjoying the journey, and if you have not enjoyed the journey, you have surely missed out on a lot. The biggest area where this applies is what I call “human connections” – these may be friendships, relationships, affairs or the like. Ask this to yourself – would you really enjoy falling in love with someone if you had a 30/60/90-day deadline to making that person like you? Would you be happy if your mind was always looking at the calendar and going “Oh my god..just 23 days to go before I pop the question. I have to speed up my efforts.“? If you have answered yes to any of these, please stop reading right here. If not, you have your head (and heart) in the right place. 😀
When we allow relationships/friendships to blossom, we allow them time to forge together, to prosper without the stress of an artificial deadline looming. When we have our eyes on what we want out if it, all our actions are dictated by the end goal, and not the natural flow of the relationship. Guess what this leads to? Yes, it is spelled as D.I.S.A.S.T.E.R.
Moral of the story? Sometimes, its good to not know where you are going. Who knows, you just might reach the right destination. Meelon chalne ka bhi apna hi mazaa hai..hai na? 🙂