Tag Archives: life

Turning the pages

02 Friday Aug 2013

Posted by in Dreams, Happiness, Life, Musings, Optimism

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This is the first time EVER that I am writing a post on a topic suggested by someone else. The simple reason being that I wanted to see how well I did when I water a seed that someone else planted in my mind. This idea is courtesy Meenu who asked me to write a post about the book that I have liked/loved most and I said…why not? Let us see what we can come up with. So, in a way, this post is dedicated to her.

So, which book am I going to talk about today? I will be honest – it wasn’t an easy choice at all. Though I have never claimed to be a “voracious reader” and I work in an industry where paper is treated as an untouchable commodity, I am responsible for a fair amount of trees being cut down. Out of all the books I have read so far, each one (with a few exceptions) has been an enjoyable journey. Intriguing at times, engrossing at others. So, picking out one was easier said than done. That being said, I decided to go by gut feel. I just laid back, closed my eyes, and the very first image that flashed in my mind was the story of Santiago, a shepherd boy in search of his dream.

As many of you might have guessed by now, I am talking about The Alchemist, one of Paulo Coelho’s all-time classics. I will not go into the details of the plot of the book. You can always refer to Wikipedia for that. Neither am I going to come up with a review of the book, as I believe that a book is something to be felt, to be experienced, and not to be evaluated or reviewed. I am simply going to tell you about the impression that this tale made on me, and how it has helped me in my life. Yes, you read that right. This is one book whose theme I have been able to apply practically in my day-to-day life. 🙂

Thanks to SRK and Om Shanti Om, almost everyone is aware of the key theme of the book. “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it” is what the alchemist tells Santiago. To a large extent, this is something we all would like to believe in, and why not? Who wouldn’t want to desire something and have things fall in place auto-magically? Seems too good to be true, and it indeed is. This is something which I have found that many of us miss out on. In the ecstasy of imagining our dreams come true just like that, we forget about one more thing that Santiago was told. And I will admit – I didn’t catch it the first time either. It was only when I actually tried applying the principle in real life that I encountered it. Curious? Read on.

“Those who don’t understand their Personal Legends will fail to comprehend its teachings” is what the alchemist says to Santiago, adding that when we are young, we all know what our “Personal Legend” is. Admittedly, this sounds like high-brow management speak, until you realise it is nothing else but the basic purpose of your life – the role that you are supposed to play on this big stage. As I understand it, it is all about really focusing on what you want to achieve in life, what you want to be remembered as after you have made your exit, and then fearlessly working your way towards it. It is only after you have set foot on this journey that things start falling in place for you. If you expect to sit on your ass and expect things to fall on your lap, remember that even a beggar sitting outside the temple doesn’t enjoy that luxury. He has to reach out to people and tug at their heart strings to make them loosen their purse strings.

Coming back to myself, this book has always been a great source of inspiration to me. Whenever I feel down and out (yes people, I do feel like that at times) I simply pick it up, flip to a random page and start reading. Invariably, I find that calm is restored within some time. Two of the most important lessons that this book has taught me are – “follow your dreams” and “life listens to what you say/do and rewards you accordingly”. The first one is pretty obvious to understand and equally difficult to follow to the fullest. Fortunately, I have always been blessed with opportunities (and people) around me who have been supportive of my efforts to make my life the way I want it to be. Of course, there have been detractors too, a fair share of them. But for me, they have proved to be more of a motivator. If there is something I really love doing, it is having people tell me that I cannot do something and then proving them wrong. 😉

The second one is a bit tricky. At first, I had thought that it was all about life paying you back for your good/bad deeds, or what is popularly known as karma. Then, I realised that it was not just karma, it was also about how we accept what life bestows on us. Whatever life puts in our hands, we have to accept it with equanimity. If it gives you something which makes you happy, smile, be grateful to it and thank it. If it gives you something that makes you sad, smile, say “no worries, I hope I get a better deal next time round” and move ahead towards your dream. Trust me, life WILL pay you back what it owes you. 🙂 In my experience so far, I have found it to be the most balanced credit-debit sheet EVER. One thing that I have learnt (sometimes the hard way) is not to deny anything that life offers to you. If it offers you something that you feel you are not worthy of, you are WRONG. Life knows better. If you are getting something, it is because you deserve it, as simple as that. Don’t deny yourself the pleasure, cherish it. 🙂

This has been a long post so far, but a very satisfying one to write. Thanks Meenu, get your brain cells buzzing – if these are the kind of ideas you are going to come up with, I need more of them. 🙂

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Same thing, same time…

14 Sunday Jul 2013

Posted by in Life, Musings

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“Hey, I was JUST about to say that”
“Same thing at the same time…great minds think alike, at the same time, too…” 😀
“Yaar, mere munh ki baat chheen li tumne…”

If any of these sound familiar to you, you already know what I am going to talk about today. Yes, its about what is generally known as telepathy, or that awesome (or weird if you claim to possess that intangible quality called sanity) phenomenon where your mental frequency (wavelength if you choose so) matches with someone so well, that completing each others’ sentences, reading their mind, and yes, saying the same thing at the same time (even if it is not directly related to what you are discussing at that point of time) becomes an everyday affair. It happens many a times with me, not with many people though. And like most of my other posts, this too is about my own experiences, and definitely NOT about whether telepathy exists or not. If I experience it with you, it very much exists. If I don’t, it doesn’t. As simple as that. 🙂

I have always believed that if you have people in your life with whom you can speak less and say more, and be assured that they will get you right, you are a very fortunate person. This person need not always be your lover/spouse or even your soulmate. Yes, one’s lover/spouse may NOT be one’s soulmate, but I digress. It can be a friend, or even someone whom you have known for a short while. What really matters is that with these people, communication is nothing short of near-magic, where you don’t speak much not because you don’t have much to speak about, but because you don’t need to. And when you speak, the understanding is so good, it almost seems too good to be true. Now, this does not mean that you agree on anything and everything, it simply means that even if you don’t agree on something, you don’t have to do much to make the other person understand it.

After reading the above paragraph, you might think that I have digressed from where I started. What does understanding each other well have to do with telepathy? Right? Well, let me ask you this – where does the damn telepathy come from? Unless you understand each other well, it is well-nigh impossible to be so much in sync that your thoughts (and words) complement each other even when they run in opposite directions. You might be a butter chicken fanatic and they may run away even at the mere glimpse of an egg, but if the very mention of “food” gets both of you saying “Chal yaar…kuch khaate hai…bhookh lagi hai”, THAT, my dear friends, is telepathy. And before you think that all I can think of is food (someone definitely considers me a “foodie”), let me tell you that I took food as an example because its the easiest to understand. 😀 I could have equally well taken up a topic like emotions or love, but then knowing me, that would have been so predictable. 😉

Now where does this “telepathy” really stem from? I believe that we all have our own unique blend of craziness (this theory does explain my round-the-clock ability to yap quite well) and when we come across someone with a similar blend, the resulting magic is inevitable. There is really no scientific explanation for this, and I am not even seeking any. I am just happy that such a thing exists, and there are people in my life (however few) with whom I can experience it. 🙂 In fact, when I come across a new person in any sphere of my life, one of the first things I look out for is the ease with which we can communicate. And if I happen to strike gold, the happiness is second to none.

Having said all that, I must say that this is not something I have experienced it with too many people in my life. In fact, I can count such people on the fingers of one hand (and I am not even Hrithik Roshan to have an extra finger). So, if I have told you that I have experienced this with you, you belong to a very select club. Thanks for matching my blend of craziness…you are awesome! 🙂

We MUST…

23 Sunday Dec 2012

Posted by in Musings

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It has been a really long time since I posted on this blog, and what brought me back here is one of the most shameful incidents I have known of in recent time. Yes, you got it right, I am indeed talking about the brutal gang rape that happened in Delhi last week. What I write, is not from the perspective of a man or a woman, but that of a human being who is pained at what he sees happening around him, and doesn’t want a repeat of it.

Now I know that there has been tons of newsprint and pages and pages of virtual print dedicated to people from all walks of life expressing their anguish, outrage and disgust over what has happened. Even as I write this, many spirited young men and women are protesting at Raisina Hills to make the government see what we have already known for quite some time – that one half of humanity in this country does NOT feel safe here anymore. Much has been said about the incident, the underlying causes, what we should/need to do when such things happen. Much has also been said about how such things should NEVER have happened in the first place. I don’t feel I have anything more to add on that count. Instead, I will be focusing on how we can do our best to prevent such things from happening, what changes do we need to bring about in ourselves, so that any woman in this country does not have to feel sorry for being born a woman.

The core point that I am driving at is that women will never be truly safe until they are considered as equals (superior actually – being a woman is a much tougher task than being a man, wherever you are) to men, and treated with the respect that comes along with such a status. Having said that, I believe that points of action always work better than platitudes. So, this is what we should must do:

  1. Treat the women in our life with respect. Its okay if you don’t worship them as goddesses, just don’t make them follow the pre-conceived notions of “good behaviour” that our society has handed down to us over the generations.
  2. As a colleague/friend/stranger on the street, don’t judge a woman by what she chooses to wear. A woman wearing a saree is not necessarily a better person than someone who wears jeans/tops.
  3. As a mother, teach your kids that the daughter has as much right to enjoy a good education, luxuries in life, etc. as the son. Her aspirations are equally important and will not be sidelined in the favour of the son. If you are in a position where you cannot fulfill everyone’s dreams, the disappointment will be shared equally, it won’t happen that the son gets what he wants, while the daughter gets a sermon on “adjustment” and “sacrifice for the family”.
  4. As a son/daughter, understand that your mother has given up a lot, has gone though a lot, and continues to do so to see you happy. Not all of those sacrifices were justified, and though she did it for you, that doesn’t mean she “wanted” to do it. She is a human being and has her own desires – she is NOT the all-sacrificing deity that you see her as. Make sure that you acknowledge the importance of those sacrifices.
  5. As a husband, you have an added responsibility towards your wife. Unlike the other men in her life, who were a part of it by default, she has chosen to be with you. You are the choice she has made, the one she has trusted her life with. So make sure you understand the honour you have been bestowed with, and behave accordingly.
  6. Again, as a husband, treat your wife the way you would want to be treated yourself. While it might be okay to feel lazy after a long day at work, it is not ok to just come back home, put up your feet and expect a hot cuppa chai from her, when she herself has just got through a nerve-wracking day at office. Get up your ass, and go help her in the kitchen. Rest assured, it won’t make you any less of a man.
  7. It is quite possible that your family and your wife will have differing opinions on something,and that it will lead to clashes. Use your own judgement, and stand by what is right. If it means supporting your wife, do so by all means. If it means telling her that she is wrong, do it. Just make sure that you are speaking as a thinking human being, and not as a husband/son.
  8. If you have a sister, be there for her, always. Be protective of her, but don’t shackle her down with Dos and Don’ts. With you around, she should feel secure, not suffocated.
  9. And now, for the most important man in any girl’s life – her father. You, sir, have the biggest and most significant role to play in your little kiddo’s life – for you are the standard she will judge all men in her life against. Make sure you stand up to the biggest challenge that life has thrown at you. Treat her like the princess that she is. Understand what she wants to be, and help her do that. You are the guy she will always love the most, make sure your actions make you worthy of it.
  10. Give her the same privileges that you would give to your son. Being worried for her safety is understandable, but try and see to it that you are the wind underneath her wings, not the chains that tie her down.
  11. Most importantly, there will be a time in your life when you have to give her hand away to another man. Choose him well, and for god’s sake, don’t think that you have to reward him for doing so. If you have brought her up well, getting married to her is a privilege he is being awarded with, not some onerous task that you need to pay him for. If you give dowry, you are only telling your daughter that you are so eager to see her off that you are willing to pay for it. And that, my dear sir, is going to hit her where it hurts most.

There is a lot more that I could write, but the basic point remains just this – without women, this world would no longer be a wonderful place. So, we must do all that it takes to make them feel happy, feel safe. How we do it, is really not the question – for where there is a will, there will be many ways. On that note, adios. See you soon!