Disclaimer: I am returning to this place after a really long time. So pardon me if I seem rusty. 🙂
The title of this post looks like one of the best oxymorons ever (“honest politician” would probably take the top spot). How can something be both ephemeral (lasting for a very short time) AND eternal (lasting forever)? That too, something as universal yet largely misunderstood as love? Allow me to put forth what makes me say this.
Love IS ephemeral. I am sure that the cynical would agree. Love IS eternal. I am sure the romantics would agree while the cynical (and perhaps the heartbroken) would hotly debate it. What if I say that both are correct? No, I am not trying to be diplomatic or taking the middle path. What I am saying is that both are indeed right, with a small but vital difference. The love that is ephemeral is not the love that is eternal. These are totally different animals altogether.
The ephemeral love is one that you see all around in our films/books (well, most of them actually). It is the kind that blossoms in your heart when hormones are having a ball in your brain. It is the kind that most marketing companies leverage to find their way into your wallet, while claiming to help you find a way into someone’s heart. No, it is not just the immature, raw feeling which we have so banally commercialised that it seems mechanical. It is also the fresh breeze which allows us to feel so attached to a person that for a moment, all that matters in the universe is that “the one”. It is also the same feeling which makes us look at someone and say “Damn! This is the one I want to grow old with and never feel old for a moment.” Why am I calling it ephemeral? Simply because it just does not last for long. It changes with time and circumstances – sometimes for the better, sometimes not. So, if love is indeed ephemeral, how can it be eternal? My take on this is rather simple. Love, the noun, is ephemeral. Love, the verb, is eternal. Confused? Read on.
To me, love is not just a feeling you have for a person. It is not just the bells (or the whole damn orchestra if you will) that go off in your mind when you think of someone. It is not the desire to make someone a part of your life. It is indeed all that, but it is much more too. It is also a commitment that you make to yourself and more importantly, to that person. A commitment that you will stick with them through tough times, through unpleasant situations. A commitment that you will walk with them as happily in the deserts as in the gardens. A commitment that you will not just get wet in the rains with them, but also weather the storms together. That you will not just “fall in love” with them, but you will do all that it takes to “be in love” with them, right to the end. It is THIS love that is eternal – the verb, the commitment.
Does this mean that the ephemeral one is a bad thing to have and the eternal one will always something that you can count on? The simple answer is a big NO. The transient one is oh-so-beautiful simply because it is like a wave. No matter how sad we feel when a wave breaks after hitting the shore, we always smile because we know the next one is going to follow soon. It teaches us to truly live in the moment. The eternal love is not something that all of us are blessed with. It takes a big piece of good fortune to have that. But it does not take fortune to be the one showering that love on someone. It simply takes honesty (to self and the other), patience and understanding.
I have written a lot here, but I am sure I have not said all that I wanted to. Like I said, I am a bit rusty and will return soon with a follow-up on this. Till then, see you! 🙂