Before reading further, please look at the title of this post again. The word “wisdom” is enclosed in quotes, which means that whatever follows may not be wisdom according to you. You may partially or totally disagree with it, which is perfectly fine. This is a list of things I have learnt from life (or in some cases, life has taught me). If reading and following even one of these help you get out of a mess (or to not get into it) then the purpose of writing this has been fulfilled. If not, I don’t mind being at the receiving end of brickbats. 🙂
- Do not discriminate. It really couldn’t be put more simply. Just because someone is different from you in some aspect, it does not mean that you get the right to look down at them, or even consider them an aberration. It is about time that we moved away from using parameters like birth, religion, economic status etc. to decide what we should think of someone. This will only lead us to judge them (unfairly so, in many cases) which brings me to the next point.
- Do not judge. I know how tempting it is to put labels on people and be done with it. After all, it saves us mental effort and time which is needed to really know them. But then, pause for a moment and consider this – we wouldn’t like anyone to form an opinion about us based on what they think and not what we actually are. So why the hell should we do the same to others? Agreed that we may not have the time and energy to know someone before forming an opinion about them, but I feel it is perfectly okay to NOT have an opinion about something than to hastily form an opinion and stick to it. Try it sometime, it will do more good than harm to you, as well as those around you.
- Love. Yes – just a single word, which should tell you that I mean to use it as a verb than as a noun. Fall in love, fall out of love if circumstances force you to, but never run away from love. The more you run away from it, the more you are denying yourself a chance to feel “alive”. And yes, this does not include only romantic love, but platonic love as well. And while we are at it, loving someone does not only mean the desire to be with them, it also means the readiness to do whatever it takes to be with them.
- Invest your emotions. Anyone can invest money and/or time into something, it takes courage to invest your emotions into something or someone. Because them, you are rendering yourself vulnerable. No matter what anyone tells you, vulnerability is the greatest indicator of strength, because to me it shows that you are not afraid of exposing your innermost core to the vagaries of the world.
- Disinvest your emotions. This is exactly contrary to what I said above, and equally important. Just like monetary investments, emotional investments can go kaput many a times. Know when to stop investing, cut your losses, and move away. People may choose to leave you despite whatever you do to hold them back. In such cases, don’t hold them back, hold the door for them to leave, and make sure you close it tight.
- Believe in second chances. At times, someone whom you have shut out of your life may come back, and you may be tempted to have them back. To be honest, there are no dos and don’ts here. It is okay to give them a second chance to put right what they wronged the first time round. Go with what your instincts tell you. However, if they screw you up yet again, there shouldn’t be a third chance.
- Cherish those who matter. Even if someone is not a part of your life in the way you want them to be (read: if you have been “friend-zoned” or if the love of your life is the better part of someone else’s life) they still are the same person whom you loved. That they couldn’t play your desired role in your life, doesn’t mean they have no role in your life at all. Loving them was a choice you made, and if it was based on the condition that they be with you, it wasn’t really love at all. Be there for them (if and) when they need you. Of course, make sure that you are at peace with the situation first, or else you will only end up making a mess of yourself.
- Listen to advice, consider it, and then, throw it away. Just because anyone (that includes me) gives you advice, doesn’t mean that you are obliged to follow it. Whatever I say comes from my own beliefs and experiences, and you do not have to take it verbatim. Understand what someone is trying to say when they tell you something. See if you agree with it and then act accordingly. No one walks your path, and you don’t have to follow their map.
I realised that some of these points could be posts in themselves, but for now, I will stop here. This is enough food for thought for now. Till next time, adios! 🙂