So…quite a difficult question in the title up there, right? And supposedly, one with no simple answer, right? Well…no and yes respectively, if you ask me. The question is really simple, the answer not quite so. Does Cupid behave like lightning and refuse to strike at the same place twice? Or does he believe in second chances? Like all good questions, this one too doesn’t have a definitive answer, and I only have my experiences and observations (not to mention, beliefs) to fall back on.
Let me keep things simple here. If you ask me if love can happen twice, my answer would be a resounding YES. No round about answers there, just a simple, uncomplicated yes. Okay, so if someone falls in love the second time, doesn’t that mean that s/he wasn’t really in love the first time round? Or even worse, isn’t s/he just a fickle-minded person who jumps from one romantic interest to another with little hesitation? Since I have been asked (and answered) these questions many times before (this doesn’t imply that I have been in that situation many times :P), here is what I always say to these questions.
Firstly, we need to stop treating love like a non-renewable energy resource, which cannot be replenished once depleted. The way I see it, love is more of a verb than a noun, a promise than a feeling. Loving someone is not (just) something that happens instinctively, its a conscious promise that you make to yourself and that person. Of course, you may or may not be able to fulfill that promise depending on the circumstances, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that it is basically something you do, and not something that happens to you out of the blue. And by that definition, you can indeed commit yourself to another person, though obviously not at the same time – that would just make you a desperado in my books ;).
Consider this – why do we think that we will not be able to love someone else? or for that matter, no one is able to love more than once? Why do we feel that the so-called “true love” happens only once? I feel it is because we carry around the remnants of the first love for too long with us. Agreed, it was wonderful to be in love with someone, and to have shared dreams of sharing the sunset of life with that person. But if circumstances have taken that person out of your life – it is indeed for a reason. It need not be anyone’s fault – it could simply be that despite of all that was, you two just weren’t meant to be. And if you keep carrying the burden of the past with you, you are neither going to enjoy the present, nor going to be able to create the future. To create a new dawn, you have to leave the old dusk behind. For the tree to flourish, the seed has to be buried. It might sound (and be) painful to do so, but if it has to be done, it has to be done. 🙂
On a lighter note, consider the mathematical proof (invented by yours truly) of how love can happen more than once. In fact, it can happen at least 300 times. Surprised? This is how it works: The world population is about 7 billion. For the sake of even figures, assume it to be 6 billion. Out of these 6 billion, let only 10% belong to your age group (the “eligible” candidates for a romantic interest). This comes to about 600 million. Considering that you are only interested in the opposite gender, this halves down to 300 million. Now, even assuming that your so-called “the one” is one in a million person, the best ever, and all that jazz, there are 300 people who fit this definition. So, even if you haven’t struck gold the first time, there are still 299 more arrows in your quiver. Now doesn’t THAT sound good? 😛
Well, mathematical proofs aside, one thing is irrefutable – love can indeed happen twice, provided you open your heart to it. Sinking its head in the sand did no good for the ostrich, and it won’t do any good for you either. So if you haven’t found your rainbow the first time round, don’t worry – there will still be many monsoons coming your way. 🙂